Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark

A few of Celia’s favorite things | From the Belle Tower

Every year around this time Queen Oprah releases her carefully curated list of “favorite things” and they’re always mostly wonderful. I say “mostly” because there’s no reason to spend more than $100 on lotion when Nivea’s just as good, am I right? (Ditto this year’s hilarious $106 bamboo sweat pants, although they did look stretchy enough for a panda.)

Celia Rivenbark

The increased use of the ‘F’ word | From the Belle Tower by Celia Rivenbark

For most of my adult life, I have been an unrepentant fan of cussing in general and the F-bomb in particular. As often noted, the F-bomb’s appeal is derived from its unique linguistic versatility. In other words, unlike almost any other word in the English language, a properly executed F-bomb is equally effective when employed as a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, conjunction, preposition, article or, as it is most often used, an interjection.

Celia Rivenbark

Lessons from the north on ‘mixed paper’

By the time I got back from the recycling center in the bucolic backwoods of somewhere in Maine, I was almost doing a full-on ugly cry. Here’s the thing: I live in a town where the recyclables are picked up, curbside, twice a month. I don’t have to sort the stuff because, well, civilization, but now I know how spoiled I am.

Celia Rivenbark

Critiquing the ‘basket of deplorables’

Let’s just put aside the obvious nut job rumors like how Hillary Clinton has a body double, how she has murdered at least two people in her decades-long presidential power grab and how she rattles a necklace of bleached chicken bones every full moon to cast a spell on her enemies.

Celia Rivenbark

Weighing the value of pelvic exams

Recent findings by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists concluded there is “little to no evidence that pelvic exams are necessary” for healthy women and there’s little point in them getting one. When I read this I shrugged and thought, “Huh. That’s surprising.”

Celia Rivenbark

Olympics remind writer she’s out of shape

By the time you read this, the Rio Olympics will probably be over and that’s OK. Don’t get me wrong. I always get a little “No, no, there’s just something in my eye” when I hear the national anthem playing and an American is standing on the center podium clutching that grandly gaudy gold medal.

Celia Rivenbark

Ode to the start of school

Verily, it is written that back-to-school season did once again come to pass and the devoted mom set about to spend the first week packing the perfect lunch for her cherub, carefully cutting sandwiches into dolphin shapes (school mascot), slicing fruit to ensure there would be no seeds or offensive peels and even enclosing a heart-shaped sticky note wishing her angel a wonderful day.

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