Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark

God help us, political views now more important than good sex

The relationship was off to a fine start. She met him at a dog park in the neighborhood near her brand new apartment; he was the right age, looked preppy-cute, but not to the point of being obnoxious, and was just the right amount of attentive to his labradoodle puppy. He admired her dog, a recent acquisition, and, truth be told, a shelter mutt. Maybe that should’ve tipped him off. His puppy was from a breeder. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Celia Rivenbark

Trump, our first Magic 8 Ball president

When my daughter was 8 or so, she and her best friend could amuse themselves for hours with endless variations of a game they made up to pass the time while being chauffeured to ballet, birthdays and beyond. One little girl would say something like, "I love chocolate pudding" and then, a half-beat later, she would raise an eyebrow, narrow her eyes to slits and add slyly, "Or do I?"

Celia Rivenbark

What’s with all these ‘emotional support’ pets sniffing my ankles?

Have y’all noticed the proliferation of "emotional support animals" lately? I used quotes because I think it’s possible a few of these are just dogs playing dress up, but I could be wrong. There was one in the bank today wearing a sporty red vest, but what if it was just a cleverly tied scarf from T.J. Maxx the owner uses to make sure her dog can hang out with her in public places?

Celia Rivenbark

The White House is not a dump? Well, about that ...

President Donald Trump denies telling golfing companions recently the White House is a "dump," but I’m not all that bothered if he did say it. The White House is centuries old and the past few administrations have all battled houseflies, smelly plumbing, leaky ceilings and a 30-year-old HVAC system that one construction expert told the Washington Post, "is actually 81in HVAC years."

Celia Rivenbark

In Trumpland, everyone gets a good (book) deal

If you ask me, the real winners so far in this wackadoodle Trump administration are the ones who have been nudged out of their appointed jobs or outright fired. Why do I say that? Because, to paraphrase a little known one-time TV talk show host, "YOU get a book deal! YOU get a book deal! YOU get a book deal!"

Celia Rivenbark

‘Made in America ...’ weak

Oh, heavenly days. I had just barely removed the cold compress from my head after all the celebrating from last week’s “National Civility Day” when along comes the news that we must celebrate “Made in America Week.”

Celia Rivenbark

‘Because I won,' not a good answer

It was hard not to notice the coincidental comments when two powerful politicians said essentially the same thing. President Trump, feeding some tasty raw meat to a loving crowd, reminded them – when it comes to his critics – “I’m President and they’re not.”

Celia Rivenbark

Ushering in the help

Now that Melania Trump has finally moved into the White House we learn from the Associated Press she is looking to fill key staff positions which have been vacant since Inauguration Day. Fortunately, one of the most important jobs – chief usher – was filled by a Trump hotel employee just after she arrived.

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