‘A black hole for dreams to die.’ Players detail toxicity that led to CCU coach’s firing
A player revolt preceded the firing in July of Coastal Carolina women’s lacrosse coach Kristen Selvage, and the players documented the toxicity that existed within the program and Selvage’s alleged abhorrent behavior.
The 2020-21 team collectively submitted a 54-page complaint to university officials that included letters from 26 players detailing an attempted internal coup in 2020 and alleging inappropriate and abusive behavior that left players feeling “chewed up and spit out,” including Selvage:
▪ Drinking alcohol before a team flight, losing consciousness during the flight, and behaving belligerently towards the airline’s staff.
▪ Having players dropped off in downtown San Diego for several hours in an area they did not feel was safe while the coaching staff was at a bar/restaurant.
▪ Refusing to let the players speak to their family members after some losses on the road.
▪ Shaming or ignoring players who were sick or injured.
▪ Treating players, referees, opponents and service workers on road trips including airline, hotel and restaurant employees with embarrassing disrespect.
“I was shocked and saddened by the player complaints when I was made aware of them after the 2021 season,” Selvage said in a statement to The Sun News. “. . . I respectfully disagree with how I have been depicted both as a coach and as a person. Questions remain as to how and who wrote some of these letters.
“I will look back on my coaching career and know that I gave my whole heart to my teams. Being a female coach with high expectations, a willingness to hold players accountable, and a drive to be the best should not lead to allegations like this.”
Selvage received support regarding her behavior from two former lacrosse team staff members who asked to have their names withheld in interviews with The Sun News.
The team submitted the letters to the CCU administration following the final game of the season on May 6.
“This is our cry for help,” the collective team wrote in its closing summary while calling for Selvage to be fired, which she was on July 20 after six years at the helm of the program. University documents show Selvage was first suspended without pay on June 2.
The university attempted to conceal the suspension and the reasons for the firing, refusing to acknowledge the suspension when questioned by a reporter about rumors of problems within the program and issuing a press release thanking Selvage “for her service” to CCU in announcing her firing.
The documents surrounding Selvage’s firing were obtained from the school by The Sun News through a Freedom of Information Act request.
Selvage’s termination letter signed by CCU vice president for intercollegiate athletics and university recreation Matt Hogue states Selvage was fired with cause based on the determination that she “violated university policy and engaged in dereliction of duty which has brought discredit to Coastal Carolina University.”
In Selvage’s notice of suspension signed by associate athletic director Cari Rosiek, the university cites “possible policy violations related to alcohol consumption while traveling on official university business and other alleged instances of dereliction of duty.”
‘Four-year sentence of mental prison’
One player, identified in the team’s submission as Athlete No. 20, referred to Selvage as “a black hole for dreams to die.”
Another, Athlete No. 4, said of incoming recruits, “These young girls think they are walking into the open arms of a loving coach when they are walking into a four-year sentence of mental prison.”
Some players included their names on their letters, though they were redacted by the university in documents provided to The Sun News, and others did not. The team submission said they feared possible retribution.
The team wrote in its introduction to the letters: “Many of us on the team are worried and fearful if this document is not taken seriously our own careers and positions will be in jeopardy and players will be targeted individually for their involvement by the head coach. We are fearful of removal of scholarship and/or removal from the team.”
Players contacted by The Sun News over the past couple months had no comment.
But in their letters they described a general culture of belittling and bullying on and off the field that diminished player self-esteem to the point of tears and depression.
“People change when they go through this lacrosse program,” Athlete No. 25 said. “They change in ways that nobody ever should have to. They go in whole and they come out chewed up and spit out. Damaged. Leaving with no love for the game we devoted our whole lives to.”
The episode that sealed Selvage’s firing
Selvage’s alleged actions during the final day of a road trip to San Diego from March 27-29 for a pair of games against San Diego State and UC Davis — CCU won the first game and was drubbed in the second 17-6 — appear to have sealed her dismissal.
While many players reference the day in their letters, Athletes No. 3 and No. 4 go into perhaps the most detail.
Athlete No. 4 said the coaches, while wearing CCU apparel, went to a bar/restaurant and left the players to wander around San Diego on their own in the midst of a pandemic. They were dropped off in the city around 3 p.m. and their flight was scheduled for 11 p.m.
“We were dropped off in a heavily homeless area and were heckled by homeless men the moment we stepped off the bus,” Athlete No. 4 said. “While I am with my coaches, I thought that they were supposed to create a safe environment for us.”
Athlete No. 3 said a member of the team saw the coaches “getting multiple drinks in a restaurant in downtown San Diego,” and Athlete No. 3, a team captain, said she was given a coach’s credit card to pay for the players’ dinners at a different eatery.
“In my five years here I have never seen that happen before,” Athlete No 3 said.
Selvage said the team captains had a voice in the decision to allow the players to roam San Diego on their own.
“For every trip we took as a team, our captains were part of the planning,” Selvage said in her statement. “This means the team leaders would have a chance to give feedback on the itinerary, including how our team utilized their fundraising dollars to make the travel as enjoyable as we could. Never once did we hear that anyone was unhappy about our trips, including the one to California in March, until the season was over in May.”
Athlete No. 3 said that once the team arrived at the airport there was a “smell of liquor that was evident on her. I am not stupid. I recognized the blood shot eyes, flushed face, and chugging water.”
The players say once the team arrived at its gate, Selvage laid on a sofa barefoot and without a mask, which was against airport regulations, and went to sleep.
On the plane, Athlete No. 4 says a male flight attendant cleared space for Selvage’s bag in the overhead compartment but Selvage didn’t want to put it there, created a scene with a loud argument and falsely accused the flight attendant of not allowing her to use the restroom.
“The attitude she had towards a man who was just trying to do his job was disgusting and embarrassing,” Athlete No. 4 said. “All of this interaction occurred while wearing Coastal Carolina lacrosse apparel, clearly not the way our university should be represented on trips.”
Selvage had a medical episode during the flight.
“I see Kristen Selvage bolt to the back of the plane, presumably using the restroom,” Athlete No. 4 recalled. “I heard a groan and thud and I turn around and see her slumped against the wall and unconscious.”
Athlete No. 4 said nurses who were passengers tended to Selvage, who “remained unconscious for a couple of minutes.” Players said a medical emergency was announced on the intercom and the cabin lights were turned on.
Athlete No. 4 said medical personnel were awaiting Selvage at the airport upon the plane’s arrival but she refused to be seen and “the denial of attention of course came along with a disrespectful attitude.”
Selvage denied that she was inebriated on the trip, or at any time around the team.
“I have never been belligerent or intoxicated at any point in time with the team; that allegation is absurd and hurtful,” said Selvage, who has taken a job outside coaching, in her statement. “When I felt faint and lightheaded on the red-eye flight home, I was tired, dehydrated, and affected by the altitude and temperature in the cabin. I remain grateful for the flight attendants who assisted me and assured me that what I was experiencing was not unusual.”
CCU employees are prohibited from reporting to work under the influence of alcohol or illegal drugs, or from consuming alcohol while on duty, according to a school policy reviewed by The Sun News.
Other player allegations
_ Several players said Selvage pressured players to put athletics above academics. On one occasion Athlete No. 1 said Selvage was agitated because a lot of players had classes when she wanted to have a pregame walk-through.
“She explained to us that we put athletics first throughout college, explaining that we should choose practice or walk-through over class and that if your major requires you to miss a lot of practice then you should switch your major or delay your graduation in order to play,” Athlete No. 1 said.
_ Athlete No. 20 claims a goaltender feared she was being abused by Selvage during warmups. “[Selvage] would say, ‘This is how I get out my anger,’ ” Athlete No. 20 said. “Our goalie would beg anyone else to warm her up because she was so petrified that our coach would hit her with the ball on purpose.”
_ Athlete No. 1 said Selvage’s cursing and aggressive behavior on the sideline during games earned her a reputation among opponents of being a hothead, and recalled one opposing coach telling an opponent, “Hey, tune her out. We told you guys before the game she’s a psycho.”
_ Athlete No. 1 described policies and punishments for losses that the players felt were excessively punitive and controlling.
After player relatives and supporters flew to an away game in Colorado, Athlete No. 1 said players were not allowed to greet them and thank them for their support following a loss. “Kristen Selvage directed us to go ‘straight to the bus, do not look at them, talk to them, or hug them. Get on the bus. You do not deserve to see your parents.’ ”
Athlete No. 1 said Selvage’s COVID policies last fall — the team plays in the spring — included “no outside visitors, no seeing significant others and no going through drive-throughs to get coffee. I understand the last one seems silly to even write in here but can you see how controlling that is?”
Players said Selvage required each player to meet with coaches individually to confess what they had done in violation of her COVID policies and many were suspended from practices for their transgressions, which included seeing others outside the program.
“The words they used against me were heartbreaking. I was broken,” said Athlete No. 1 of the confession meeting, after which she said she was suspended for a week. “. . . I cried an unreal amount of times a day. I went to practice in the morning and would go home afterwards and go to bed. My parents were very concerned for me.”
_ Several players claimed injured and sick players were ignored. Athlete No. 5 said she had ACL knee surgery and was never checked on by Selvage after the surgery or during her recovery.
Athlete No. 23 said she was the first player on the team to test positive for COVID and was shamed for it. “I have messages of her calling me out and destroying my mental health for getting sick. Never was I even asked if I was okay.”
Added Athlete No. 24: “So many girls who had COVID were never reached out to. I personally had COVID and no one checked in. My head coach never once reached out to me, not when I tested positive, not when I was isolated in my housing alone, now when I expressed I was really sick with all of the symptoms, and never once when I returned to the field. It is like we do not exist.”
Selvage said she cared for every player that went through her program. “I adored each and every one of the student-athletes during the entire time they played for me,” she said in the statement. “I challenged them to improve — as every coach does — I supported them, and I celebrated them.”
A first attempt foiled by COVID
Players including Athlete Nos. 20 and 25 said an assistant coach and several seniors met in a hotel room during a trip to Colorado in March 2020 to discuss a possible insurrection against Selvage. They said the assistant and several players were upset over Selvage’s erratic behavior on the trip.
The collaboration was derailed a couple days later when the 2020 season was cut short by the impacts of the coronavirus pandemic.
Katie Frederick spent five years as Selvage’s assistant through this past season but is not on the staff of new coach Rachel Shuck Whitten, who was hired to replace Selvage in August after nine years as Furman’s head coach.
There was a second low-paying assistant coaching position throughout Selvage’s tenure but six different people filled the position as it changed hands each year from 2016-21. “There is a reason they don’t stay,” said Athlete No. 25, who said Selvage frequently belittled a second assistant coach during the 2020 season in front of the team.
Diminishing results
The players also cited diminishing results and the regression of the program on the field in addition to their complaints about Selvage’s behavior.
The players believe the team underperformed, at least in part due to low player morale and inadequate coaching.
Selvage posted a 58-38 overall record at CCU, including going a combined 24-8 overall in both ASUN and Southern Conference league play.
Selvage was hired in August 2015 and CCU’s best season under her came in 2017, when the Chanticleers went 13-6 and reached the ASUN tournament title game for the first of two straight seasons.
Selvage was named the conference coach of the year in both 2017 and 2018. The CCU lacrosse program has yet to capture a tournament championship and reach the NCAA tournament, and it has dropped its first game in the conference tournament in each of the past two seasons.
The players considered the move from the ASUN to the Southern Conference prior to the 2019 season to be a demotion. CCU has rejoined the ASUN for this upcoming season.
“Over the past five years we have progressively gotten worse and have even moved into the lowest conference in Division I lacrosse, coming in third place in this conference this year,” said Athlete No. 5.
Parents voice concerns
The university also received at least two letters from concerned parents of players, both calling for the school to take action against Selvage.
One parent, whose daughter transferred in 2019 following her freshman year, called the program under Selvage a “mentally abusive athletic culture,” and said the player endured “humiliation” and “left Coastal demoralized, questioning her worth.”
Another parent alleges his/her daughter was in the office of a women’s lacrosse staff member when the player learned of her positive COVID test result, and was told to not inform anyone else of the positive test. The parent called for a coaching change “not only for the success of the program in terms of wins and losses but more importantly for the development and mental health of these young women.”
Player quotes
_ Athlete No. 3: “As a captain and fifth-year senior on this team I constantly found myself in a position of playing ‘team therapist.’ Every day I experienced either another complaint about Kristen Selvage, or I had to try to talk my teammates out of quitting. Over the years we have lost many teammates to mental health-related issues, which was devastating.”
_ Athlete No. 24: “My mental health has never been an issue or concern to me until I became part of this program. I have questioned my self-worth more times than I can count, I have cried more nights than I would like to admit, and my self-confidence has been close to non-existent more times than not.”
_ Athlete No. 1: ““She thrives on tearing others down. She tries to seek out weak links and will hurt them until they quit. . . . It gets harder and harder each year to be quiet about how disrespectful and embarrassing Kristen Selvage is to us, others in the athletic department, opposing teams, referees and to the university.”
_ Athlete No. 20: “She is a master manipulator and is cruel in the way she undermines her student-athletes.”
_ Athlete No. 5: “She called us all disgusting and an embarrassment to this program but I think it is honestly the other way around and she is the one ruining it.”
_ Athlete No. 16: “My mental health continues to drain. . . . Kristen Selvage has stolen all my confidence and pride as an athlete, leaving me most often in a very bad state of mind.”
Withholding the damning details
Despite the litany of player allegations against their coach, Hogue thanked Selvage “for her service to CCU athletics” in the university’s July 20 press release announcing her firing, in which no reasons for the firing were provided.
The university was not forthcoming about Selvage’s employment status prior to the announcement.
On July 7, The Sun News asked Hogue and university communications officials if Selvage was suspended from her coaching position, and if so for what reasons, but did not receive a straight answer that acknowledged the disciplinary action.
The Sun News submitted a FOIA request to CCU on July 14 requesting access to Selvage’s personnel file — but it was denied on July 28 — and submitted a more specific amended FOIA request on July 29 requesting information regarding Selvage’s firing and possible suspension.
That information was provided in part more than seven weeks later on Sept. 17, and in full on Sept. 22.
This story was originally published October 19, 2021 at 5:00 AM.
