Blue Light Special | Bar tab does Virginia fugitive in

Fugitive (and sober) no more

An unpaid bar tab leads police to a fugitive from justice...

Harrison Ford IN... “Drinks for Free.” No no no, how about... “The Fugitive of BEER.” Yeah, that works.

Myrtle Beach police were called to a bar in the 3000 block of Howard Avenue Monday about 2 a.m. for the unpaid bill.

When police arrived, they found the alleged offender, Kara Sweet, 27. Thus, making her...NOT a fugitive. I don’t what, what’s the word for someone who breaks the law then just, you know, hangs around? Loiterer? OK, she was an alcohol theft loiterer. Grand Drink Loitering.

After talking with police, Sweet settled the bar tab. However, police discovered she was wanted in Virginia for embezzlement.

Sweet was arrested and taken to the Myrtle Beach jail. Sweet is awaiting extradition to Virginia.

So in the end, kids ... was that drink really worth it?

Walked into a robbery

A man told Myrtle Beach police a woman he picked up led him to a home where two men him dragged him from his car, struck him in the back of the head, and allegedly stole his handgun, wallet, cellphone and other items, authorities said, and thus concludes our morality story on why you should never randomly pick up a woman on the side of the road.

Police met with the 42-year-old man about 4:18 a.m. (nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m., look it up) on the 700th block of Boundary Street.

The victim said he picked up an unknown woman about 4 a.m. in the area of Seventh Avenue South and Ocean Boulevard, and that she directed him to a home on Charlotte Road, and told him she PROMISED this wasn’t a setup, and she wore Chanel Coco Mademoiselle and that’s the same perfume that someone from his church wears and there’s no WAY someone who wears the same perfume as someone at his church would EVER lead him into a trap where his handgun would be stolen, right? ... Oh wait he picked up a random woman at 4 a.m. and he was CARRYING A HANDGUN so yeah this theory is probably completely wrong so let’s move on with this wonderful tale of smart decisions and good life choices.

The victim said he parked his car and the next thing he knew two unknown men dragged him from the car and hit him in the back of the head with a blunt object, authorities said. Though to be fair he was carrying a HANDGUN. Maybe they were fearful for their lives. Maybe they were her brothers and they were protecting her from ... no it was probably just a robbery.

The victim told police his car keys were missing and his wallet, containing his driver’s license and credit cards, cellphone and handgun were all taken, authorities said, which means this story is MOST DEFINITELY going to have a sequel.

Police are still investigating the incident. No arrests had been made in connection with the incident as of Tuesday morning so for the love of GOD PUT A SECURITY DETAIL on this man’s house 24 /7 haven’t you seen “Fargo”? It’s pretty good it’s a new hit TV show starring Billy Bob Thornton on Netflix, you should check it out.

Anyways.

In summation, DON’T PICK PEOPLE UP EVER. ESPECIALLY ON BOUNDARY STREET. Josh OUT.

Kangaroo klepto

Myrtle Beach police are searching for a suspect after a Kangaroo gas station was robbed by a man in a black and white mask early Thursday morning.

Police are calling him the “Kangaroo Klepto.” By police I mean me.

Police were called about 4 a.m. to the Kangaroo gas station at 3791 Oleander Drive and met with a 65-year-old female clerk who reported the incident, authorities said.

The clerk told police that a man came into the store and asked her to open the register, which she said she did.

Once the register was open, the victim said the suspect told her to “get back,” (I’m sorry but I just pictured James Brown robbing a convenience store right there) and he walked around the counter and took about $25 from the register, according to the police report.

In other words, he “paid the cost to be the boss.” Get back.

The clerk said the suspect seemed to know how to work a cash register. Which is highly unusual because these, what do you call them ... cash…reg-is-ters? Clearly space age stuff. He MUST be former military.

Police said he then left the store after taking the money. A man after my own heart, knows what he wants. In and out.

A witness was outside the store when the alleged robbery happened, and said he saw a man leave casually, so the witness did not realize the store had been robbed, authorities said.

So to all you future robbers out there, stop with the getaway cars and the shootouts. Invest in some Birkenstocks and stroll out the front door. Much higher success rate.

The clerk told police she never saw a weapon. Because his weapon was determination. And cash…reg-is-ter knowledge.

This story was originally published September 17, 2015 at 9:28 AM with the headline "Blue Light Special | Bar tab does Virginia fugitive in."