Grand Strand volunteer drives ill neighbor to New Hampshire to attend sister’s funeral

Rosemary Flaska doesn’t mind a bit driving 79-year-old Geraldine Sheehan to doctor appointments, the store — anywhere she needs to go along the Grand Strand.

So when Sheehan got the news that her sister had died, Flaska didn’t hesitate to drive her the 1,200 miles to New Hampshire to be there for the funeral.

“She got to say her final goodbyes to her sister and see her sister,” Flaska said. “This has been heartbreaking, but something I felt she needed. She needed that closure.”

Sheehan received a phone call from her niece in January telling her Sheehan’s only sister had died.

Sheehan, who struggles to get around the Grand Strand to make it to appointments, thought it certainly would be too difficult to fly 10 states away to New Hampshire for the funeral.

“I can’t walk very well,” Sheehan said. “I need a walker.”

She uses the local Neighbor to Neighbor program — a volunteer senior transportation organization for those who are home-bound and disabled — for rides to her appointments. So when Flaska, the volunteer who usually drives Sheehan heard about her sister’s death, she didn’t hesitate to offer to drive the woman more than 1,200 miles to the funeral, and pay for gas and room and board for the trip, which eventually lasted nine days.

“I was staying with her when her niece called and said her sister had passed away,” Flaska said. “She said she wanted to come, but she knew she couldn’t fly. So I said, ‘Well, I’ll drive you.’”

Their bond

Sheehan was among the first people Flaska met and helped when Flaska joined Neighbor to Neighbor. In July 2014, Sheehan was going to physical therapy and when Flaska went to pick her up to go to her appointment, she found Sheehan on her bathroom floor after having several strokes throughout the night. Flaska took Sheehan to the hospital, but only under the condition that Flaska promised to take care of her dog for her. So, Flaska agreed, taking care of the dog for the month Sheehan was in the hospital.

When Sheehan was ready to be released from the hospital, her doctor said the only way Sheehan could be released from the hospital is if someone would stay with her in her home. Flaska, again, agreed.

Sheehan was hesitant to agree to the long trip, though.

“It’s a long ride and I couldn’t help with the driving,” Sheehan said. “She had to do it all, which I’m very grateful.”

This trip would be no different than when Sheehan needed Flaska in the past — only this time she needed her most.

“We made arrangements for us to stay in a hotel when we got up to New Hampshire,” Flaska said. “The weekend that we left had that huge storm in the upper Northeast.”

Flaska said the two stopped on the way up there. She said they were about 500 miles away when a call came that the funeral was postponed by a day because of weather conditions.

“I was driving there in that,” Flaska said. “In a trip that was supposed to have taken us 16 hours ended up being 24 hours. It was the most horrible conditions. We were driving somewhere between 25 and 30 miles an hour when we were lucky. You couldn’t see 20 feet in front of you.”

Neither the distance nor the snow would ultimately get in the way of Flaska making sure Sheehan had closure.

Flaska’s service

Flaska, a New York native, was named top volunteer for Neighbor to Neighbor in 2014 and 2015 having logged more than 6,000 miles and more than 400 hours driving residents who struggle to get around to their doctor’s appointments, the store and more.

She moved to the Grand Strand two years ago, shortly after her husband died. She knew no one. So her grown children helped her look around for places to volunteer. After all, she spent three decades serving people in New York where she retired from the state’s social services department working with mentally challenged patients.

Now, through Neighbor to Neighbor, Flaska drives residents who have trouble getting to appointments on their own. But her service doesn’t stop there.

“I think one of the things that really stands out to me is when Rosemary comes to our monthly event called the Social Hour, even in an event like that, she’s always the first one here and she’s always bringing something delicious,” said Joe Kunkel, executive director of Grace Ministries/Neighbor to Neighbor. “She’s always just so happy to be here.

“When we set up social hour, it really is a time where we’re running around and we’re doing a lot of organizing, but once we see Rosemary, we know that things are going to be OK. She’s such a comforting sight. We know that she’s only going to bring positivity to the group. She is also inquisitive. She is able to articulate some of the issues that our seniors go through, and can put it very eloquently and simply to understand, so that we, internally, can work on better procedures and policies to better serve an at-risk population.”

Farrah Dickerson, volunteer coordinator at Neighbor to Neighbor, said Flaska’s sincerity is obvious.

“She’s so authentic and so genuine in everything she does,” Dickerson said.

So when Kunkel heard Flaska was taking the road trip with Sheehan, he knew it would take someone extraordinary to do it.

“This is the longest trip that’s ever been performed by the agency, that’s for sure,” Kunkel said. “We actually try to encourage more local rides for our volunteers.”

Flaska said she does it because “there’s so much need in this area for transportation. It makes me feel so good when people I drive say, ‘Thank you very much,’ or ‘It was so nice talking to you.’”

Understanding the family bond

“We’re just great friends,” Flaska said of her and Sheehan. “I take her to all of her appointments. I take her out to eat. She comes to my home for the holidays, because she has no one. She has five nieces and a nephew and that’s all the family that she has and they all live up in New Hampshire and New York.”

Sheehan said she and her sister had a close relationship.

“I still miss her,” Sheehan said. “I talked to her the day before she passed. She sounded fine. Nothing was wrong, and then overnight, she had a stroke.”

Flaska has siblings and said she knows what seeing them for the last time would mean to her.

“I’m the oldest and I know how I would feel if I didn’t do something and I couldn’t get there,” Flaska said. “I just know that I would have to be there if it was my own family.”

Flaska credits her good health in being able to help others who are struggling.

“I feel blessed constantly and I like helping people who I know need it and who aren’t as lucky as me,” she said.

This story was originally published December 20, 2015 at 12:00 AM with the headline "Grand Strand volunteer drives ill neighbor to New Hampshire to attend sister’s funeral."