Bad deal: How LaVar Ball resembles this cartoon dad and why it’s not a compliment
I’m going to attempt to “speak it into existence.”
“LaVar Ball, vanish from the public eye.” Abracadabra.
Voila? Nope, he’s still out there.
Unfortunately, the real-life Randy Marsh just keeps showing up, starting fights and convincing himself that someone out there cares what he has to say. In case you aren’t aware of who Randy Marsh is, look up “Randy Marsh South Park Little League” on YouTube. He’s the annoying cartoon dad who shows up at his kid’s games, gets belligerent, winds up fighting — well, gets beat up by — another living-through-his-son dad type, gets hauled off by police and screams “I thought this was America” and the such.
Though I’m unaware if anyone has roughed up LaVar Ball over his idiocy, he plays the real-life version of the role perfectly. It’s disappointing we’re reminded of this because I thought perhaps we’d heard the last of him, as it seems apparent that someone with the Los Angeles Lakers found a way to quiet him and let his son, Lonzo Ball, just play basketball.
Then the Anthony Davis trade rumors began to swirl. Then Lonzo’s name surfaced in the middle of them. And then LaVar opened his mouth.
For some reason, LaVar believes that his preference of Lonzo either staying with the Lakers or being included in the trade via a third team (he wants it to be the Phoenix Suns) holds water.
“We want to be in L.A.,” LaVar Ball told ESPN. “But if he’s traded, I don’t want Lonzo in New Orleans. Phoenix is the best fit for him. And I am going to speak it into existence.”
Speak it into existence? So essentially he’s saying that if he doesn’t get what he wants he’s going to be even more of a pain in the you know what. He really thinks the Lakers or Pelicans or Suns give a crap what he has to say.
I believe it.
The man’s proven that’s he’s insane countless times. He’s said his son is better than LeBron James, Stephen Curry and Russell Westbrook. He’s said that he himself could have beaten Michael Jordan one-on-one in “his day.”
This guy’s got a whole lot of crazy.
But it’s not even slightly amusing anymore. I had mostly forgotten about him as Lonzo was finally starting to show some of the promise he’s capable of. He’s shown signs of being a very good player and his awkward jump shot has started to fall more. It was nice to see considering the only knocks I’ve ever heard on the kid relate to his loudmouth dad.
I’d like to see Lonzo do well. I enjoy watching him play.
Personally, I don’t care if it’s in New Orleans, Phoenix or Mars.
In all reality, I think being in a place like New Orleans would be beneficial for him. Once Thursday’s trade deadline comes and goes, Lonzo could wind up being “the man” there. You would think his dad would want that, and personally I’d like to see what he can do while not playing James’ shadow.
But apparently that’s not enough for mighty LaVar. He wants preferential treatment for his son, who I’m not even sure cares quite as much as his dad.
Unfortunately for us — in this case — Randy Marsh is right and “this is America,” where the living version in LaVar can chime in with ridiculous comments whenever he wants.
At least he hasn’t said anything bad about the New England Patriots. I’ve heard that’s frowned upon.
I might just have spoke it into existence.
