It’s bowl season.
What a wonderful time to be alive.
I say that only somewhat sarcastically. It’s great that there’s going to be a ton of college football starting Saturday and running through early January.
However, there may just be too many bowls. Forty-plus seems a little overkill, especially considering some sub-.500 teams are required to fill them.
Therefore, let’s have some fun with it.
I’m going to go through the bowl list – aside from the three that really matter – and rename them based on who’s playing, where they’re playing or simply because of a the name of the bowl.
Air Force Reserve Celebration Bowl
Participants: North Carolina Central vs. Grambling
Bowl renamed: I didn’t realize they were FBS Schools Bowl
Explanation: Perhaps it’s my ignorance, but I wouldn’t have guessed these were Football Bowl Subdivision schools. But they’re in a bowl, so they must be.
Gildan New Mexico Bowl
Participants: New Mexico vs. UTSA
Site: Albuquerque, N.M.
Bowl renamed: Underwear Bowl
Explanation: Gildan as a sponsor? Come on. That one was too easy.
Las Vegas Bowl Presented by Geico
Participants: Houston vs. San Diego State
Site: Las Vegas
Bowl renamed: Better Than You Might Think Bowl
Explanation: Both of these squads are pretty good despite not being in Power 5 conferences.
Raycom Media Camellia Bowl
Participants: Appalachian State vs. Toledo
Site: Montgomery, Ala.
Bowl renamed: No Cheering in the Press Box Bowl
Explanation: It is sponsored by a media organization.
AutoNation Cure Bowl
Participants: UCF vs. Arkansas State
Site: Orlando, Fla.
Bowl renamed: Staycation Bowl
Explanation: Bowl games usually offer a fun trip for the players and staff. Not for Central Florida this year.
R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Participants: Southern Mississippi vs. Louisiana Lafayette
Site: New Orleans
Bowl renamed: Keep On Truckin’ Bowl
Explanation: R+L Carriers is an American freight shipping company (trust me, I Googled it.).
Miami Beach Bowl
Participants: Central Michigan vs. Tulsa
Bowl renamed: Bad Decision Bowl
Explanation: The last thing Miami needs is to bring in the Golden Hurricanes. And it could be worse. Who even knows what a Chippewa is?
Boca Raton Bowl
Participants: Memphis vs. Western Kentucky
Site: Boca Raton, Fla.
Bowl renamed: Down To Sea Level Bowl
Explanation: Florida will be an unfamiliar place for the Hilltoppers.
San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
Participants: BYU vs. Wyoming
Site: San Diego
Bowl renamed: Match Made in Heaven Bowl
Explanation: Pairing up Cowboys and Cougars. Enough said.
Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
Participants: Idaho vs. Colorado State
Site: Boise, Idaho
Bowl renamed: Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
Explanation: Renaming this one just wouldn’t be justice.
Popeyes Bahamas Bowl
Participants: Eastern Michigan vs. Old Dominion
Site: Nassau, Bahamas
Bowl renamed: Golden Ticket Bowl
Explanation: A trip to the Bahamas? Sign me up.
Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl
Participants: Louisiana Tech vs. Navy
Site: Fort Worth, Texas
Bowl renamed: Safest Place You’ll Ever Be Bowl
Explanation: Military personnel are sure to be everywhere in this one.
Dollar General Bowl
Participants: Ohio vs. Troy
Site: Mobile, Ala.
Bowl renamed: Convenience Bowl
Explanation: While it’s nothing spectacular – like these teams – you can always count on finding a Dollar General nearby.
Participants: Hawaii vs. Middle Tennessee
Bowl renamed: Homebody Bowl
Explanation: Why would the Rainbow Warriors leave home if they don’t have to?
St. Petersburg Bowl
Participants: Miami (Ohio) vs. Mississippi State
Site: St. Petersburg, Fla.
Bowl renamed: Same Name, No Relation Bowl
Explanation: The folks from Oxford, Ohio, will get a look at how the other Miami lives.
Quick Lane Bowl
Participants: Maryland vs. Boston College
Bowl renamed: How Did We Get Here Bowl
Explanation: With most teams going to exotic or warm-weather locations, these two are headed north.
Camping World Independence Bowl
Participants: N.C. State vs. Vanderbilt
Site: Shreveport, La.
Bowl renamed: Someone Will Have A Losing Record Bowl
Explanation: Both enter the game at 6-6.
Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas Bowl
Participants: Army vs. North Texas
Bowl renamed: At Least We’re In Bowl
Explanation: The Mean Green go bowling despite a 5-7 record.
Military Bowl Presented by Northrop Grumman
Participants: Temple vs. Wake Forest
Site: Annapolis, Md.
Bowl renamed: I Think We Took The Wrong Turn Bowl
Explanation: Both wound up here despite not being military schools.
National Funding Holiday Bowl
Participants: Minnesota vs. Washington State
Site: San Diego
Bowl renamed: Battle of Wills Bowl
Explanation: The high-scoring Cougars take on the stingy Gophers.
Motel 6 Cactus Bowl
Participants: Boise State vs. Baylor
Bowl renamed: Vacationing On A Budget Bowl
Explanation: Hotel prices are probably expensive in Arizona. So why not Motel 6?
New Era Pinstripe Bowl
Participants: Pittsburgh vs. Northwestern
Site: Bronx, New York
Bowl renamed: Fitted Bowl
Explanation: Fitted New Era hats have to be part of the gifts package.
Russell Athletic Bowl
Participants: West Virginia vs. Miami
Site: Orlando, Fla.
Bowl renamed: Overdressed Bowl
Explanation: Miami will be sporting adidas and West Virginia Nike. Sorry, Russell Athletic.
Foster Farms Bowl
Participants: Indiana vs. Utah
Site: Santa Clara, Calif.
Bowl renamed: If Only It Was Basketball Bowl
Explanation: This would be more intriguing with the schools’ hardwood teams.
AdvoCare V100 Texas Bowl
Participants: Texas A&M vs. Kansas State
Bowl renamed: Houston, We Have a Problem Bowl
Explanation: Surely the AdvoCare V100 is a UFO, right?
Participants: South Florida vs. South Carolina
Site: Birmingham, Ala.
Bowl renamed: Urgency Bowl
Explanation: Winning a bowl game would do a lot for a rebuilding Gamecocks program.
Participants: Arkansas vs. Virginia Tech
Site: Charlotte, N.C.
Bowl renamed: Bargain Bin Bowl
Explanation: The bowl sports an SEC and ACC team – albeit not the best, not the worst.
Valero Alamo Bowl
Participants: Oklahoma State vs. Colorado
Site: San Antonio
Bowl renamed: Home On The Range Bowl
Explanation: You’ve got Cowboys where the Buffaloes roam.
AutoZone Liberty Bowl
Participants: Georgia vs. TCU
Site: Memphis, Tenn.
Bowl renamed: Meet In The Middle Bowl
Explanation: Both are traveling a little over seven hours for this one.
Hyundai Sun Bowl
Participants: Stanford vs. North Carolina
Site: El Paso, Texas
Bowl renamed: Christian McCaffrey Bowl
Explanation: He’ll be the biggest reason to watch.
Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl
Participants: Nebraska vs. Tennessee
Site: Nashville, Tenn.
Bowl renamed: Don’t Bet Your House On It Bowl
Explanation: Tough call with these two teams.
Nova Home Loans Arizona Bowl
Participants: South Alabama vs. Air Force
Site: Tucson, Ariz.
Bowl renamed: Loan With Options Bowl
Explanation: Any time you get to watch a team run the option – like Air Force does – it’s intriguing.
Capital One Orange Bowl
Participants: Michigan vs. Florida State
Site: Miami Gardens, Fla.
Bowl renamed: Shoulda, Coulda Bowl
Explanation: The Wolverines would be playing for much more had they not lost to Iowa by one point this season.
Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl
Participants: LSU vs. Louisville
Site: Orlando, Fla.
Bowl renamed: “Don’t Believe Me Just Watch” Bowl
Explanation: All eyes will be on exciting Cardinals quarterback Lamar Jackson in this one.
Participants: Georgia Tech vs. Kentucky
Site: Jacksonville, Fla.
Bowl renamed: They Were That Good Bowl?
Explanation: The Yellow Jackets going 8-4 and the Wildcats finishing 7-5 both were a bit under the radar.
Participants: Florida vs. Iowa
Site: Tampa, Fla.
Bowl renamed: What Could Have Been Bowl
Explanation: This one features two teams that didn’t quite live up to high expectations but still had solid seasons.
Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic
Participants: Western Michigan vs. Wisconsin
Site: Arlington, Texas
Bowl renamed: Prove It Bowl
Explanation: The Broncos get a chance to put their 13-0 record up against a very good Power 5 team.
Rose Bowl Game Presented by Northwestern Mutual
Participants: Southern Cal vs. Penn State
Site: Pasadena, Calif.
Bowl renamed: We On Fire Bowl
Explanation: There probably weren’t two hotter teams heading down the stretch of this season.
Allstate Sugar Bowl
Participants: Auburn vs. Oklahoma
Site: New Orleans
Bowl renamed: Mayhem Bowl
Explanation: There’s no telling what to expect from these teams. The Allstate mascot might even suit up for one.
The Coastal Carolina men’s basketball team plays at Auburn at 9 p.m. Thursday. … The CCU women’s basketball squad hosts Saint Francis (Pa.) on Monday (7 p.m.) plays South Carolina State at the Myrtle Beach Convention Center on Friday (time TBA). … The Shrine Bowl of the Carolinas will be held at Wofford’s Gibbs Stadium at 2 p.m. Saturday. … The Clemson men’s basketball team hosts South Carolina State on Tuesday (7 p.m.) and plays at Alabama on Sunday (4 p.m.). … The South Carolina men’s basketball team plays at Seton Hall on Monday (9 p.m.) and at South Florida on Saturday (1 p.m.). … The CresCom Bank Holiday Invitational girls basketball tournament at the Myrtle Beach Convention Center begins Saturday and runs through Dec. 22. … College bowl games kickoff Saturday.