Let’s celebrate bowl season by giving the games more appropriate names

It’s bowl season.

What a wonderful time to be alive.

I say that only somewhat sarcastically. It’s great that there’s going to be a ton of college football starting Saturday and running through early January.

However, there may just be too many bowls. Forty-plus seems a little overkill, especially considering some sub-.500 teams are required to fill them.

Therefore, let’s have some fun with it.

I’m going to go through the bowl list – aside from the three that really matter – and rename them based on who’s playing, where they’re playing or simply because of a the name of the bowl.

Air Force Reserve Celebration Bowl

Participants: North Carolina Central vs. Grambling

Site: Atlanta

Bowl renamed: I didn’t realize they were FBS Schools Bowl

Explanation: Perhaps it’s my ignorance, but I wouldn’t have guessed these were Football Bowl Subdivision schools. But they’re in a bowl, so they must be.

Gildan New Mexico Bowl

Participants: New Mexico vs. UTSA

Site: Albuquerque, N.M.

Bowl renamed: Underwear Bowl

Explanation: Gildan as a sponsor? Come on. That one was too easy.

Las Vegas Bowl Presented by Geico

Participants: Houston vs. San Diego State

Site: Las Vegas

Bowl renamed: Better Than You Might Think Bowl

Explanation: Both of these squads are pretty good despite not being in Power 5 conferences.

Raycom Media Camellia Bowl

Participants: Appalachian State vs. Toledo

Site: Montgomery, Ala.

Bowl renamed: No Cheering in the Press Box Bowl

Explanation: It is sponsored by a media organization.

AutoNation Cure Bowl

Participants: UCF vs. Arkansas State

Site: Orlando, Fla.

Bowl renamed: Staycation Bowl

Explanation: Bowl games usually offer a fun trip for the players and staff. Not for Central Florida this year.

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl

Participants: Southern Mississippi vs. Louisiana Lafayette

Site: New Orleans

Bowl renamed: Keep On Truckin’ Bowl

Explanation: R+L Carriers is an American freight shipping company (trust me, I Googled it.).

Miami Beach Bowl

Participants: Central Michigan vs. Tulsa

Site: Miami

Bowl renamed: Bad Decision Bowl

Explanation: The last thing Miami needs is to bring in the Golden Hurricanes. And it could be worse. Who even knows what a Chippewa is?

Boca Raton Bowl

Participants: Memphis vs. Western Kentucky

Site: Boca Raton, Fla.

Bowl renamed: Down To Sea Level Bowl

Explanation: Florida will be an unfamiliar place for the Hilltoppers.

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl

Participants: BYU vs. Wyoming

Site: San Diego

Bowl renamed: Match Made in Heaven Bowl

Explanation: Pairing up Cowboys and Cougars. Enough said.

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl

Participants: Idaho vs. Colorado State

Site: Boise, Idaho

Bowl renamed: Famous Idaho Potato Bowl

Explanation: Renaming this one just wouldn’t be justice.

Popeyes Bahamas Bowl

Participants: Eastern Michigan vs. Old Dominion

Site: Nassau, Bahamas

Bowl renamed: Golden Ticket Bowl

Explanation: A trip to the Bahamas? Sign me up.

Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl

Participants: Louisiana Tech vs. Navy

Site: Fort Worth, Texas

Bowl renamed: Safest Place You’ll Ever Be Bowl

Explanation: Military personnel are sure to be everywhere in this one.

Dollar General Bowl

Participants: Ohio vs. Troy

Site: Mobile, Ala.

Bowl renamed: Convenience Bowl

Explanation: While it’s nothing spectacular – like these teams – you can always count on finding a Dollar General nearby.

Hawaii Bowl

Participants: Hawaii vs. Middle Tennessee

Site: Honolulu

Bowl renamed: Homebody Bowl

Explanation: Why would the Rainbow Warriors leave home if they don’t have to?

St. Petersburg Bowl

Participants: Miami (Ohio) vs. Mississippi State

Site: St. Petersburg, Fla.

Bowl renamed: Same Name, No Relation Bowl

Explanation: The folks from Oxford, Ohio, will get a look at how the other Miami lives.

Quick Lane Bowl

Participants: Maryland vs. Boston College

Site: Detroit

Bowl renamed: How Did We Get Here Bowl

Explanation: With most teams going to exotic or warm-weather locations, these two are headed north.

Camping World Independence Bowl

Participants: N.C. State vs. Vanderbilt

Site: Shreveport, La.

Bowl renamed: Someone Will Have A Losing Record Bowl

Explanation: Both enter the game at 6-6.

Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas Bowl

Participants: Army vs. North Texas

Site: Dallas

Bowl renamed: At Least We’re In Bowl

Explanation: The Mean Green go bowling despite a 5-7 record.

Military Bowl Presented by Northrop Grumman

Participants: Temple vs. Wake Forest

Site: Annapolis, Md.

Bowl renamed: I Think We Took The Wrong Turn Bowl

Explanation: Both wound up here despite not being military schools.

National Funding Holiday Bowl

Participants: Minnesota vs. Washington State

Site: San Diego

Bowl renamed: Battle of Wills Bowl

Explanation: The high-scoring Cougars take on the stingy Gophers.

Motel 6 Cactus Bowl

Participants: Boise State vs. Baylor

Site: Phoenix

Bowl renamed: Vacationing On A Budget Bowl

Explanation: Hotel prices are probably expensive in Arizona. So why not Motel 6?

New Era Pinstripe Bowl

Participants: Pittsburgh vs. Northwestern

Site: Bronx, New York

Bowl renamed: Fitted Bowl

Explanation: Fitted New Era hats have to be part of the gifts package.

Russell Athletic Bowl

Participants: West Virginia vs. Miami

Site: Orlando, Fla.

Bowl renamed: Overdressed Bowl

Explanation: Miami will be sporting adidas and West Virginia Nike. Sorry, Russell Athletic.

Foster Farms Bowl

Participants: Indiana vs. Utah

Site: Santa Clara, Calif.

Bowl renamed: If Only It Was Basketball Bowl

Explanation: This would be more intriguing with the schools’ hardwood teams.

AdvoCare V100 Texas Bowl

Participants: Texas A&M vs. Kansas State

Site: Houston

Bowl renamed: Houston, We Have a Problem Bowl

Explanation: Surely the AdvoCare V100 is a UFO, right?

Birmingham Bowl

Participants: South Florida vs. South Carolina

Site: Birmingham, Ala.

Bowl renamed: Urgency Bowl

Explanation: Winning a bowl game would do a lot for a rebuilding Gamecocks program.

Belk Bowl

Participants: Arkansas vs. Virginia Tech

Site: Charlotte, N.C.

Bowl renamed: Bargain Bin Bowl

Explanation: The bowl sports an SEC and ACC team – albeit not the best, not the worst.

Valero Alamo Bowl

Participants: Oklahoma State vs. Colorado

Site: San Antonio

Bowl renamed: Home On The Range Bowl

Explanation: You’ve got Cowboys where the Buffaloes roam.

AutoZone Liberty Bowl

Participants: Georgia vs. TCU

Site: Memphis, Tenn.

Bowl renamed: Meet In The Middle Bowl

Explanation: Both are traveling a little over seven hours for this one.

Hyundai Sun Bowl

Participants: Stanford vs. North Carolina

Site: El Paso, Texas

Bowl renamed: Christian McCaffrey Bowl

Explanation: He’ll be the biggest reason to watch.

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl

Participants: Nebraska vs. Tennessee

Site: Nashville, Tenn.

Bowl renamed: Don’t Bet Your House On It Bowl

Explanation: Tough call with these two teams.

Nova Home Loans Arizona Bowl

Participants: South Alabama vs. Air Force

Site: Tucson, Ariz.

Bowl renamed: Loan With Options Bowl

Explanation: Any time you get to watch a team run the option – like Air Force does – it’s intriguing.

Capital One Orange Bowl

Participants: Michigan vs. Florida State

Site: Miami Gardens, Fla.

Bowl renamed: Shoulda, Coulda Bowl

Explanation: The Wolverines would be playing for much more had they not lost to Iowa by one point this season.

Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl

Participants: LSU vs. Louisville

Site: Orlando, Fla.

Bowl renamed: “Don’t Believe Me Just Watch” Bowl

Explanation: All eyes will be on exciting Cardinals quarterback Lamar Jackson in this one.

TaxSlayer Bowl

Participants: Georgia Tech vs. Kentucky

Site: Jacksonville, Fla.

Bowl renamed: They Were That Good Bowl?

Explanation: The Yellow Jackets going 8-4 and the Wildcats finishing 7-5 both were a bit under the radar.

Outback Bowl

Participants: Florida vs. Iowa

Site: Tampa, Fla.

Bowl renamed: What Could Have Been Bowl

Explanation: This one features two teams that didn’t quite live up to high expectations but still had solid seasons.

Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic

Participants: Western Michigan vs. Wisconsin

Site: Arlington, Texas

Bowl renamed: Prove It Bowl

Explanation: The Broncos get a chance to put their 13-0 record up against a very good Power 5 team.

Rose Bowl Game Presented by Northwestern Mutual

Participants: Southern Cal vs. Penn State

Site: Pasadena, Calif.

Bowl renamed: We On Fire Bowl

Explanation: There probably weren’t two hotter teams heading down the stretch of this season.

Allstate Sugar Bowl

Participants: Auburn vs. Oklahoma

Site: New Orleans

Bowl renamed: Mayhem Bowl

Explanation: There’s no telling what to expect from these teams. The Allstate mascot might even suit up for one.

On tap

The Coastal Carolina men’s basketball team plays at Auburn at 9 p.m. Thursday. … The CCU women’s basketball squad hosts Saint Francis (Pa.) on Monday (7 p.m.) plays South Carolina State at the Myrtle Beach Convention Center on Friday (time TBA). … The Shrine Bowl of the Carolinas will be held at Wofford’s Gibbs Stadium at 2 p.m. Saturday. … The Clemson men’s basketball team hosts South Carolina State on Tuesday (7 p.m.) and plays at Alabama on Sunday (4 p.m.). … The South Carolina men’s basketball team plays at Seton Hall on Monday (9 p.m.) and at South Florida on Saturday (1 p.m.). … The CresCom Bank Holiday Invitational girls basketball tournament at the Myrtle Beach Convention Center begins Saturday and runs through Dec. 22. … College bowl games kickoff Saturday.

This story was originally published December 11, 2016 at 3:44 PM with the headline "Let’s celebrate bowl season by giving the games more appropriate names."