My useless knowledge of ‘My Cousin Vinny’ paints a picture of my culturalism

I ran across a dumb little quiz on Facebook the other day and decided I had a spare minute to waste on it. Actually, I have a million spare minutes to waste. I’m retired.

Anyway, the question was asked, “How well do you know ‘My Cousin Vinny?’ ”

I hate to admit it, but I figured I knew the movie pretty well.

So I took the test, 15 questions with multiple-choice answers.

I got each one right, including the one that asked the name of the convenience store involved in the movie: Sac-O-Suds. And the car the defendants were driving: Buick Skylark. “Yutes” was a no-brainer, even for a non-New Yorker: “Youths.”

I only had to guess on one question: the name of the judge played by Fred Gwynne. All I knew it was some high-fallutin’ name, not just some ordinary Joe. I was right: Chamberlain Haller.

“Vinny,” I fear, is one of several movies I’ve watched over and over, most of them, like “Vinny,: with no redeeming virtue. It helps alleviate the interminable hours of political news pervading my TV set these days.

I can list a dozen or more movies I’ve watched repeatedly and could probably ace tests on each of them, too.

There’s “The Godfather” and “The Godfather Part II.” I passed on Part III after I read the reviews.

My wife and I even use a line from “The Godfather,” though I don’t know why: “Leave the gun, take the cannoli.” No, we don’t own a gun. And I wouldn’t know a cannoli if it bit me in the face.

I think we picked up the line from another movie my bride and I have watched often: “You’ve Got Mail.”

In our defense, “Mail” is about a wonderful little bookstore put out of business by a behemoth competitor – and we were once a wonderful little bookstore put out of business by a less wonderful competitor.

But I digress.

“Body Heat” is a long-time favorite, as is “A Fish Called Wanda.” I’m sure Kathleen Turner and Jamie Lee Curtis aren’t the only reasons.

“A Few Good Men” always takes me back to my Marine Corps days, Jack Nicholson back to my drill instructor. Good times.

I’m partial, too, to “Fargo,” probably because I spent a winter in Fargo. Not that the movie has anything to do with Fargo.

It takes place in Minnesota, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking and all the children are above average. (Whoops, that’s Lake Woebegone. My bad.)

Yeah, it’s pretty sad, my cultural tastes. They are so pedestrian.

Even in McClellanville. While my neighbors spend their days at Spoleto concerts in Charleston, I stay home and watch “My Cousin Vinny” one more time. I blame Marisa Tomei.

This story was originally published June 16, 2017 at 3:00 PM with the headline "My useless knowledge of ‘My Cousin Vinny’ paints a picture of my culturalism."