Mande Wilkes | Bikefest: Government gone wild

Look out! Bikefest is nearly upon us.

Much has been written and much has been said on the subject, and I’m reluctant to add to the chatter — especially since I, like everyone else, have no absolute solution to propose. I have only my own litany of complaints, and I hesitate to air them here. So you have my word that I’ll attempt to add only commentary that’s original, if perhaps offensive to those airheads in local office.

For a conservative, the whole topic is mired in questions of whether and to what extent the government should assert itself. True advocates for small government cannot in good conscience ask officials to “shut down” a city to tourists — whatever those tourists’ color, breeding or willingness to wear clothing that covers both rump cheeks.

To expect the government to kill Bikefest is to dispense with the First and Fourteenth Amendments guaranteeing rights to assemble and to travel. Quite simply, our officials lack the legal authority to terminate Bikefest.

Frankly it chills me to my core the way supposed small-government advocates have called upon the state as sword and shield in this matter. In times of fear is when we should most hesitate to hand power to government, for the state preys on and leverages those fears.

As a matter of fact, that brings me to my next point. Though government lacks legal authority to halt Bikefest, local officials seem hell-bent on exacerbating the chaos.

For one thing, consider all the back-patting and butt-slapping over the Country Music Fest slated for the beginning of June. Officials in the area are practically giddy with pride at landing such a high-profile event. And to an extent, the praise is deserved — the concerts will surely bring business to the Grand Strand.

But wait … if these government guys are such handy social engineers, shouldn’t they have maybe scheduled the music festival to coincide with Bikefest? Remember that tickets sold out within days, back in the winter when the concert lineup was announced. If the local bigwigs had any guts and gumption, they’d have scheduled the concerts for Memorial Day weekend. That way, hotels would’ve been pre-booked with concert-goers, thereby alleviating to some degree the Bikefest congestion in downtown Myrtle Beach.

Instead, Gov. Nikki Haley talked a big game (which she couldn’t deliver) about “shutting down” Bikefest. And the guys-in-ties we keep electing gave a lot of macho-man quotes to the media. Apart from talking smack, though, nobody accomplished a thing.

(Oh! That’s not quite accurate. They did initiate some kind of convoluted “traffic loop,” the purpose of which I fail to understand and the result of which is sure to be a lot of angry bikers. Evidently the powers-that-be think it’s a good idea to antagonize people who already feel less than welcome.)

At this point we’re mere days away from re-living last year’s chaos — except this year it’s happening within the context of a national boiling-over in regards to race relations.

I’m sad for business owners who can’t take their families on Memorial Day vacation for fear of a lawsuit from the NAACP. I’m sad for law enforcement personnel who are expected to guard the event against a backdrop of suspicion and distrust. I’m sad for those Bikfest participants who behave themselves but still get a bad rap by association.

Most of all, though, I’m sad for those poor crotch-rockets. So much fanny, so little fabric …

This story was originally published May 16, 2015 at 10:09 AM with the headline "Mande Wilkes | Bikefest: Government gone wild."