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The offshore oil choices, game show style

By Ed Yaw
Opponents of opening waters off the Carolinas coast to oil and natural gas exploration hold signs during a March 2015 protest in Mount Pleasant, S.C. They were standing outside a motel where the federal Bureau of Ocean Energy Management held a meeting to take public comment. The views of the five coastal congressmen in the Carolinas differ in states where the governors are strong advocates of offshore drilling and where 18 coastal communities have gone on record against it. (AP Photo/Bruce Smith, file)
Opponents of opening waters off the Carolinas coast to oil and natural gas exploration hold signs during a March 2015 protest in Mount Pleasant, S.C. They were standing outside a motel where the federal Bureau of Ocean Energy Management held a meeting to take public comment. The views of the five coastal congressmen in the Carolinas differ in states where the governors are strong advocates of offshore drilling and where 18 coastal communities have gone on record against it. (AP Photo/Bruce Smith, file) Bruce Smith AP

“Welcome to the new reality game show ‘SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE A DEAL’, brought to you by the American Petroleum Institute. I’m Bob Blowhard, your host. Don, who is our first guest?”

Don: “Governor Nikki Haley, COME ON DOWN.”

Bob: “Governor Haley, you get to choose what’s behind door number one labeled ‘Money, Money, Money’, door number two labeled ‘Jobs, Jobs, Jobs’, or door number three labeled ‘Political Aspirations.” Which door do you choose first?”

Gov. Haley: “Our great state needs money for all the programs it can’t afford so I’ll choose door number one.”

Bob: “Sorry Governor, but President Obama and Secretary of the Interior Sally Jewell have decided that revenue sharing from offshore drilling should not go to the states, so they kept it. You get zip. Care to try another door?”

Gov. Haley: “Well, we really do need jobs and offshore drilling needs infrastructure, and Georgetown could be the next Port Fourchon. I’ll take door number two.”

Bob: “Sorry again Governor, but the oil drillers need suppliers right away and it would take years to develop that kind of port in Georgetown. They picked Norfolk, Virginia because it is already a huge deep water port, has no bridges to get under, has Newport News Shipbuilders right there to make repairs or build new supply ships, and has freeways and railheads already built in. No jobs for South Carolina there. You have one door left.”

Gov. Haley: “Well, at least I still have my political career to fall back on. I’ll take door number three.”

Bob: “Sorry Governor Haley. Through some odd quirk of politics a circus clown was nominated by the GOP to run for president and he has chosen a swimsuit model as his running mate because she is ‘So Hot.’ Don, what kind of parting gifts do we have for the Governor?”

Don: “Well, Governor. We have a hearty ‘Thank You’ and bus fare back to South Carolina. And now for our next guest. Senator Tim Scott, COME ON DOWN.”

Applause from the audience.

North Litchfield Beach

The writer lives in North Litchfield Beach.

This story was originally published September 23, 2015 at 4:15 PM with the headline "The offshore oil choices, game show style."

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