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Letters to the Editor

A strange monument phobia

By David Barsalou

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September 10, 2017 11:30 AM

A little more than six weeks ago, parts of America were afflicted with selective megalophobia. It is a rare phobia that recurs when the political winds make it expedient to do so. The current characteristic of this phobia is that it only seems to afflict people who lean left and, more importantly, afflicts them only at the sight of certain statues. Phobia scientists will soon be conducting a study to analyze the effects of this malady. For those afflicted, I certainly hope this phobia shows physical signs. Just think, if it does, we will then be able to see liberals at a distance, sort of like a child with chicken pox.

My guess is that seeing an effigy of Martin Luther King would be OK; however, if they saw a statue of General Lee, all hell would break loose. For the political class, the effects are an incessant babbling of platitudes. Just check recent news reports. Reps. Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Watters, two 30-year veterans of Congress, are now afflicted with this dreaded phobia. They just may have to wear blinders as they walk by the statues in the Hall of Statues.

The snowflakes would quickly run to their safe space and hope the affliction quickly dissipates, while the rest of the offended would just look on and try to recall their high school history in order to see why the effigy is causing the malaise.

What I find interesting is that people who walked by certain statues for years, never really paying attention to them, are now afflicted with this phobia. Do you think the phobia can be spread by left-leaning news anchors, bloggers and other cellar dweller types? I would suggest yes, as prior to the horrific events in Charlottesville, no one know much of this is phobia, let alone reported on it.

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The trend of measuring historical figures against today’s standards is alarming. Those who are doing it are clearly demonstrating their lack of historical knowledge, knowledge of the facts placed in the proper historical context. Yes, many things that happened in the past are now unacceptable by our modern standards, but just think, something as innocuous as smoking has changed our opinion of those who still smoke. It was not that long ago that smoking was socially acceptable; now, if you smoke, you are a pariah.

If any of you reading this are Canadian, please advise your friends when you go back north, as my recent visit to Montreal indicates the phobia is spreading north. Lefty Canadians now want to whitewash the history of John A McDonald, Canada’s founding father. 

Time is of the essence. Scientists must find a cure for this dreaded phobia, lest we lose our history.

The writer lives in Myrtle Beach.

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