Issac Bailey | Horry County abandoned baby: The shared fears - and joys - of parenting

My daughter asked me to read her a book. It was at the end of a long day at work after a long weekend trip out of town.

It was bedtime and I just wanted my kids to get in their rooms, close their doors and go to sleep.

But my daughter asked me to read her a book. She’s an almost 11-year-old who on many days seems so desperate to leave Little Girl Land behind she creates “If I don’t leave this room and get away from childhood I’m gonna hurt somebody” moments parents of teens and emerging teens around the globe can relate to.

She is an honor student who can read, and read well. She probably reads more books than I do right now.

She no longer needs me to read for her. And yet, there she was asking any way.

I was tired and hesitated before saying yes, that I would only read a few pages.

She rushed to get a book from her pile, not seeming to care which one. I sat next to her on the bed and read half the book and promised we’d finish the rest another night.

“Thank you daddy,” she said, then asked me to tuck her in the way I used to, tightly rolling her comforter around her like a cocoon.

It made me feel like a father in a way I hadn’t felt in awhile.

The daily requirements of being a “good parent” can sometimes feel so unrelenting it’s hard to step back and remember the blessings kids are even though they can prematurely turn your hair gray as though you are president of the United States.

My daughter asked me to read her a book not long after we found out that a baby was found abandoned in a trash bin in Horry County “freshly born” and covered in blood and afterbirth.

The baby is healthy and under the supervision of the S.C. Department of Social Services.

A 23-year-old woman, Shelby Harper Taylor, was charged with attempted murder after being released from the hospital.

I haven’t been able to muster any anger at Taylor even while understanding the horror of what she is accused of doing..

That’s because I know there’s nothing like parental desperation. The thought of being responsible for another human being, responsible for their safety, for their health — emotional, physical, mental — for their life, can be overwhelming even in stable, two-parent homes in which children were planned and giddily anticipated.

I don’t know Taylor’s story, but I know of others who have felt that desperation because on a smaller scale, I’ve felt it, too.

You don’t know if you are the right person for the job. You don’t think you are worthy or capable.

You feel lost and scared and angry.

And you feel shame, which is why you don’t want others to know that you are struggling, believing they are more likely to judge you harshly than to offer you compassion and a helping hand.

I wish I could sit down with those contemplating a decision like the one Taylor allegedly made and tell them that many parents, including the ones who seem to have it all together, share their fears.

And I wish I could tell them about nights like the one in which my daughter asked me to read to her, not because she needed me to read, but simply because she needed — and wanted — me in ways I had forgotten or didn’t realize.

This story was originally published April 15, 2015 at 11:23 AM with the headline "Issac Bailey | Horry County abandoned baby: The shared fears - and joys - of parenting."