‘Set an extra plate’ initiative aimed at being there for others

Mary Lee Robinson started the Set an Extra Plate initiative last year, encouraging families to invite someone who might otherwise be alone to enjoy a holiday meal with them.

“I learned from my parents that there are more ways than just physically to be hungry,” Robinson said. “The Set an Extra Plate concept was born of my childhood experience and the tradition that I carried forward with my husband.”

While she was growing up in Maryland, her holiday meals were always shared with guests who were single, divorced, widowed or alone for some other reason. Every year, some of the people around the table with her were different.

“I met some people who were very interesting. It brought richness to our holidays that we wouldn’t have had otherwise. It made our holidays much better,” she said.

It is her dream, she said, for the Set an Extra Plate imitative to spread across the country and enfold everyone who might be alone on any holiday. She is hoping more people will look closely at their neighbors, their co-workers, the people in their churches and other places, and find those who are lonely.

“See who is in your universe that might be alone, and open your heart and your house to them for a holiday dinner,” she said.

Robinson knows what it’s like to be alone and lonely during holidays. She and her husband had lived on the Grand Strand for less than a year when he died unexpectedly in February of 2013. Most every holiday for the next year, she was alone and in disbelief that no one had invited her to share a meal with them.

Robinson said she has often had people respond to the idea of bringing a guest to a holiday gathering by saying that their family might not “behave.”

“There’s a good chance that they will behave with a guest in their midst,” she said. “Widows and widowers all came from families and not all of their families behaved either.”

Robinson started the group, the Widow or Widower Next Door, and authored a book with that title that includes numerous interviews with widows and widowers who shared their experiences through their answers to a series of questions. She has received her certification as a grief coach and has co-authored “Grief Diaries: Loss of a Spouse” and “Grief Diaries: Help for the Newly Bereaved,” which are soon to be published.

The Widow or Widower Next Door social club is not a dating network. It is for widows and widowers who connect only through Meetup.com on the Internet and meet socially for dinner or other activities. There are no phone contacts.

A new widow and widower social club starts on January 1 and activities will be centered “mid-strand” and west to Aynor, encompassing Conway and Carolina Forrest.

Who do you know that has lost a spouse, a life partner or a family member in 2015? Who do you know that might be eating alone on a holiday?

For more information about any of Robinson’s endeavors, visit http://mary-lee-robinson.myshopify.com/blogs/news.

This story was originally published November 18, 2015 at 5:53 AM with the headline "‘Set an extra plate’ initiative aimed at being there for others."