Grieving loss of loved ones, children find comfort in the saddle

Seventeen children – all grieving the loss of a loved one – circled up outside the Double C Ranch Sunday afternoon to hear the rules for a day of horseback riding and therapy.

No running, trainers said. No spanking, added a young boy. And whatever you do, trainers said, don’t sneak up on a horse from behind; they need to be able to see you.

And the kids needed to see the horses too. Many of them were grieving the loss of a parent.

“You never know what circumstances these kids are coming from,” said Kirby Winstead, a bereavement coordinator with Heartland Hospice, who works with the Fidelis Foundation to provide the free horse therapy for grieving children the third Sunday of every month.

“These kids learn from each other. They learn how to handle their emotions. They learn what each other is doing,” he said. “The biggest thing is this is a safe environment where these kids can say anything they want to say and they learn that they’re not alone going through this. That’s a huge, huge thing.”

The kids on Sunday ranged in age from toddlers to teens, who smiled as they stepped up to groom, pet, nuzzle and prepare the horses they would ride. They took turns brushing the coats and cleaning the hooves of their new friends. And then it was time to ride.

Ten-year-old Anabeth Allen of Conway was 7 years old when her aunt, Holly Allen, died of leukemia. Her cousins, Rachel Marie Allen, 5, and Rylee Allen, 3, who were waiting their turns at a table nearby were both under 3 when they lost their mother.

Anabeth climbed the third step up to a golden horse named Yokum and threw her leg over his saddle. She tried not to look down.

A few times around the track and Allen’s back was straighter, her head was a little higher and her feet were positioned just like the trainers had taught her – heels down, toes up. She held the reins with one hand and as Yokum broke into a trot, she said, she was “trying to stay straight and not look down.”

This was her second time riding at the Double C Ranch at the corner of Triple Crown Court and McCormick Road. Anabeth says they have two horses at her great uncle’s house. One named Peewee and another named Rebel, who true to his name “never listens.”

Blake Allen, Anabeth’s uncle and father of Rachel Marie and Rylee, said the therapy has been good for the girls.

“They were coming over scared at first and now they want to come and just being with other kids in similar situations it lets them know they’re not alone,” he said. “It’s good to have an outlet to come to from time to time and they need to see a different outlook on things.”

Winstead said they started offering the free horse therapy sessions a couple of years ago with the help of the Fidelis Foundation.

“Our program has grown and grown and grown,” he said. “We started out with just a few kids and today we have almost 20 here.”

Winstead says he has about 61 children on a list of grieving families in Horry County that he invites to the ranch for the free rides offered once a month. The rides and the companionship always seem to help.

This story was originally published February 21, 2016 at 9:01 PM with the headline "Grieving loss of loved ones, children find comfort in the saddle."