Carolina Characters | Fulfilling friendships in the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

Friendships are sometimes glass shattered by rocks of unsavory deeds, broken promises, and misplaced words. Yet, there are moments when we make special bonds that only death can break. These relationships are steely. They are rare and radiant, acting as sunshine on our darkest days.

Such an alliance exists among the women of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood – a circle of friends tied together by time, in a fellowship cocooned in love and fertilized by faith.

On this day, a September Wednesday, they are gathered at Creek Ratz, an eatery at which they visit annually for food and fun. They are all dressed in colors that reflect their beautiful, bodacious, and brave personalities. Shades of red, ivory, gold, green and other vibrant fabrics clothed the bodies of women willing to do the work treasured friendships require.

They respond to need with speed. No matter what the marvelous or maddening moments are in their lives, they stand firm in their commitment to each other.

“It’s a miracle,” said Renee Betz, 71, of Boiling Green, Ky. “I can’t explain it. Nobody else I know has a group like this.”

This wonderful web of womanhood was weaved in 1994 in Bowling Green when neighbors met through a group dubbed the Community Greeters Newcomer Club. Lois Schwitzgebel, 78, Terri Horta, 76, and Carole Paulus, 66, were all in that initial assembly.

After staying in Bowling Green for five years, Horta moved away. Atlanta became her home before she settled on the Grand Strand. And when other Bowling Green buddies began migrating, too, she conceived a plan to maintain their sisterly circle. It was then the idea was hatched to designate a place and time when they could meet, mingle, and meld as girlfriends for one week.

This love fest was originally without a name until Schwitzgebel thought of giving their anonymous set a moniker. When Rebecca Wells’ book “Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood” was published in 1996, Schwitzgebel reckoned the group needed a funky identity. She realized that since the book was all about camaraderie and they had plenty of it amongst themselves that the name was fitting.

That was also when members began making up Ya-Ya nicknames that gave a glimpse of their personalities. For example, Schwitzgebel is Queen Sunrise because she gets up early and walks. Horta is Princess Absolut because she makes Jell-O shots. Schwitzgebel is the only queen. New members have the title of “Countess.” After being a Ya-Ya for two years, members earn the title of “Princess.”

Regardless of one’s title, however, everyone is treated equally. No lady is better than the other. They are compatible, not competitive. They are true friends, not proven foes.

To keep the circle tight and right, current members only bring in new members they believe will mesh well with the entire group.

Carole Paulus, 66, of Fort Myers, Fla., is the sister of Sheryl Schenk, 62, of St. Louis. Paulus ushered her into the group.

Members, however, give Schwitzgebel much credit for being the snowball that just rolls along and gathers friends as she goes.

The group currently contains 15 active members and has met on the Grand Strand yearly ever since the inaugural journey to Hilton Head Island in 1994.

The luggage brought along for each excursion is mindboggling and a makeshift assembly line is required to transfer it from vehicles to their Grand Strand beach house.

This is also among the few instances in which their men are allowed and needed. Their husbands can never and will never participate in official group activities. The Ya-Ya Sisterhood is exclusively about the power of estrogen.

Members who live here are responsible for creating the itinerary for the entire group. Good food and fine wine are enjoyed throughout the seven days. This time around, they had 30 bottles of wine.

This year’s event also included a movie night, a private magic show featuring one of the husbands during the group’s birthday party, a tea, and lunch and dinner at some of the most popular Grand Strand eateries. Each occasion provides ample opportunities to be happy and hilarious. Problems are not allowed to enter through the door. They are literally put away.

“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free’’ is posted where a box is provided at the beach house for folks to cast their burdens in.

“We really support each other in good times and bad,” said Patty Guazzo, 63, a Murrells Inlet resident.

Guazzo’s comment is made prior to orders of crab cakes, fish, stuffed mushrooms, and other food arriving at their outdoor table at Creek Ratz. It is a statement that gets nods of approval from everyone.

“We have each other’s back,” said Marilyn Du Plessis, 72, a former resident of Hoboken, N.J. who lives in Pawleys Island. “And when we are here, it is a week of love. We need each other.”

Life is life, though. And these are wise women. They know troubles are on every person’s path. Nevertheless, their friendships never falter.

“When one of our sisters are sick, we are great prayer warriors,” Schwitzgebel said.

Again, all heads at the table nodded their approval.

When dinner was done, the women walked to a nearby boat landing for a sunset cruise.

Debbie Rae, a 62-year-old Ya-Ya countess who lives in Murrells Inlet, walked hand-in-hand with Du Plessis. They whispered and giggled as they strolled.

Their hushed secret was unknown until Du Plessis revealed their conversation.

“I’m a widow,” Du Plessis said, “and she is going to find me a boyfriend.”

This story was originally published September 20, 2015 at 9:47 AM with the headline "Carolina Characters | Fulfilling friendships in the Ya-Ya Sisterhood."