From Big Gay Beach Days to happy hours, how Myrtle Beach LGBTQ people find community
A massive conglomerate of beach umbrellas stick out of the sand along 72nd Avenue North in Myrtle Beach. Within the cocoon of shade and pop music, a group of about 70 people sit on beach chairs, lounge on towels and walk around chatting.
One man wanders with a tray of sandwich sliders, offering up food to dozens of people, while a pair of men sit next to their cooler full of pudding shots, handing out the small cups freely.
There are also rainbows — a lot of them. Beachgoers brought rainbow towels, rainbow drink coozies, rainbow bags and rainbow swimsuits, all to show their pride.
Once a month during the summer, OutMyrtleBeach hosts a “Big Gay Beach Day” where they invite any and all LGBTQ+ individuals to come hang out on the beach together. Since Gerri McNeer started the social group last summer, it has grown exponentially.
OutMyrtleBeach, an age 21 and up group, went from a group of queer friends looking for community to a Facebook page with more than 1,000 members and events that draw up to 100 attendees.
In a county where almost 70% of voters cast a ballot for Donald Trump in the 2024 presidential election, being openly gay can feel precarious, multiple members said. OutMyrtleBeach offers a safe haven for the queer community in the Grand Strand while also being unapologetically public.
“I think the number one thing on everybody’s mind is safety,” said Brice Thomas at the Aug. 3 Big Gay Beach Day.
Gay guerilla takeovers to family dinner
At the beginning of 2024, McNeer was not planning to stay in Myrtle Beach long enough to start a social club. She and her family were prepared to move to New York state in order to find more acceptance.
“Prior to the election, we decided that we needed to leave South Carolina,” McNeer said. “We had an experience in Conway, and we knew that there were other things going on in the area, and the state has no hate crime laws. We felt very vulnerable and we wanted to get out.”
While house hunting in central New York, McNeer came across Syracuse Guerilla Gay Events, an organized group in Syracuse, New York, that aims to show queer visibility while supporting the LGBTQ+ community.
Right before the McNeer family was about to move, their plans fell through. When McNeer realized she was going to be staying in Myrtle Beach, she decided to start something similar to the Syracuse Guerilla Gay Events.
While having dinner with her gay friends, McNeer mentioned the idea.
“I said, ‘Wouldn’t it be fun if we did something loosely like the guerilla gay bar?’ And one of our friends, who is also an admin, he said, ‘Why don’t we do a beach day?’” McNeer said.
And so the Big Gay Beach Day was born. A few weeks later, they hosted the event at the 72nd Avenue North beach access in Myrtle Beach. The admins originally wanted to host it at 82nd Avenue North, which is historically known as the gay beach, McNeer said, but there was not enough parking.
From there, McNeer started to organize more events. There was Big Gay Eating at Anchor Bar and Grill where the group overtook part of the restaurant. As the evening went on, more and more tables had to be added to accommodate the growing group.
McNeer created a Facebook page called Myrtle Beach Big Gay Events to have a central place to find information on activities and then a private Facebook group called “OutMyrtleBeach.” Since starting the group, more than 1,100 have joined, although only about 50 to 75 show up to events.
OutMyrtleBeach has become McNeer’s full-time job. As a retiree, she pours hours into planning every week. This includes coming up with group events, scoping out potential gathering spots and moderating the Facebook group.
“I go to the restaurants and I talk to the owners or managers. I go and look at menus, I look at drink specials, I look at can people who are differently abled access these places?” McNeer said. “It keeps me busy. It would either be this or I’d be working at the Humane Society taking home 500 dogs.”
Safety in numbers
With Trump as president, it can be unnerving to be gay in a red state, multiple sources said. Since Trump took office, references to transgender people and bisexuality have been removed from the Stonewall monument in New York City, his administration disbanded the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline dedicated to LGBTQ+ youth and the Supreme Court has been asked to consider a case overturning gay marriage.
While the Myrtle Beach City Council has named June as Pride month for several years, Horry County Council does not. In 2022, Horry County Council voted to declare June as Pride month but rescinded the resolution after facing public backlash, The Sun News reported.
On Aug. 3, Doreen Lyon sat in a chair next to her wife, Venus Rhodes, in a larger group of gay women. There was a mix of established friends, group newcomers and a service dog who wandered as far as his leash would allow.
When The Sun News asked Lyon how she feels living as a gay woman in the Myrtle Beach area, she said, “We’re cautious.” Rhodes cut in and added, “Very,” before Lyon continued, “as to how we treat each other in public.”
But in a group setting like OutMyrtleBeach, Lyon said she feels safer.
“When you have this many people, you don’t feel afraid, or as afraid. But yeah, I wouldn’t walk down the street (holding hands) if it was just two of us,” Lyon said.
With a large group, it is easier to be visible in straight spaces, McNeer said. She likes to host events in non-gay spaces to show there are gay people in Myrtle Beach and they are simply normal people. In the past year, there have not been any homophobic reactions to the group in real life.
“It’s a lot harder to hate someone when you know them,” said Kevin Bailey, the founder of Come Out Central New York, the organization that runs Syracuse Guerilla Gay Events.
Drawing members from more than Myrtle Beach
At the Aug. 3 Big Gay Beach Day, attendees came from all over. There was Darin Miller who came from his condo located steps away from the 72nd Avenue North beach access. Then there was Kelly Sippola who flew in to the event from Ohio.
“I’m here with my best friends that live here. So I came to visit them, and I came on this weekend so I could hang out (at Big Gay Beach Day), too,” Sippola said.
At past events, people drove over an hour to Myrtle Beach from Florence or 45 minutes from Calabash, North Carolina. The group has also helped people decide to make the move to Myrtle Beach.
Thomas said the group helped him decide to move from Nashville, Tennessee, to Myrtle Beach in July.
“I wouldn’t say it was like the deciding factor, but it certainly removed a lot of anxiety and stress that I was experiencing about moving to a new city, moving to a red state area,” Thomas said.
Part of what makes OutMyrtleBeach work is its sense of inclusivity. On Aug. 3, when Veronica Casarez showed up, McNeer immediately greeted her and said she was so excited to finally meet Caserez in person. The two chatted for a few minutes and then Casarez sat down on a beach towel with the group of gay women.
When asked about her experience, Casarez said she felt like the group was full of laughter and relaxation.
“The sense of community is something that kind of fuels me. And so that’s my more desire, is having a strong sense of community in a time when I don’t feel like we are as valued,” said Tim Thewes. “I think there’s a stronger sense of community here in Myrtle Beach than there is in some of the larger cities. And I think that’s impressive.”
