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Bestler | Options to help Lindsey Graham shed single status

Republican presidential candidate, Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., talks to customers during a campaign stop at MaryAnn's Diner, Tuesday, June 2, 2015, in Derry, N.H.
Republican presidential candidate, Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., talks to customers during a campaign stop at MaryAnn's Diner, Tuesday, June 2, 2015, in Derry, N.H. AP

You kinda have to chuckle over the possibility of a Lindsey Graham presidency.

It's not that he's a bad candidate; in the current field of Republican contenders, Graham is one of the sane ones -- and I won't even get into the circus known as Donald Trump.

No, I'm talking about Graham's marital status, or rather his unmarried status.

He would be the first bachelor president since Grover Cleveland, but even Cleveland's singleness did not last long.

He was 49 and shortly after taking office he married a 21-year-old that he had known almost from the day she was born. He had played with her as a baby and nurtured her into womanhood, then married her and fathered three children with her. Wow, would TMZ have a field day with that?

It's interesting that Graham would be compared to Cleveland, considering that he succeeded Strom Thurmond, who married his second wife when he was 49 and she was 25.

Both of Strom's marriages were to former Miss South Carolinas. And Graham, as I recall, once joked about following in Thurmond's footsteps and marrying a Miss South Carolina when he's 66. He's 59 now.

But the pundits are beginning to get serious -- well, as serious as pundits can be -- about Graham's single status.

What would we do without a First Lady? Who would set the nation's fashion trends? Who would show the world the newest hairstyles? Who, we ask, would tend the vegetable garden?

Lindsey certainly can't do it all himself. Bet he hasn't had a new hairstyle since grammar school. And he grew up tending bar in Seneca, not vegetable gardens.

He says, jokingly, I think, that he may have a rotating First Lady for state dinners and such, and mentioned his sister.

While we're joking, maybe he could do a presidential version of “The Bachelor.” He'd already have a rose garden full of roses to hand out.

Strom's marriage to two Miss South Carolinas certainly sets a high bar for Lindsey. Choosing from among 25 beauties would be in the best mold of old Strom.

Better yet, maybe President Graham could get Congress to declare Nov. 15, Sadie Hawkins Day, a national holiday. Prospective Mrs. Grahams could race around the White House and may the best babe win. Al Capp would be proud.

Contact Bob Bestler at bestler6@tds.net.

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