What do you do if someone near you isn’t social distancing? Experts have some tips

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued guidance for wearing masks and social distancing to slow the transmission of the coronavirus, but that doesn’t mean everyone is following.

Here’s what experts say you should do if someone isn’t following social distancing rules.

If someone is putting your health at risk, be sure to speak up, Elaine Swann, a lifestyle and etiquette expert, told The New York Times.

“We have to be very forward with making sure that we communicate with the individual,” Swann said, according to the newspaper. “Turn to that individual and, very frankly, very honestly, with respect and consideration, say, ‘Will you please take a few steps back? I would like to make sure I’m protecting both you and me.’”

If they aren’t harming you

If your health isn’t at risk, M.J. Ryan, executive coach and author of “The Power of Patience: How This Old-Fashioned Virtue Can Improve Your Life” recommends practicing compassion instead of getting angry, according to the Times. She said to mentally wish them well by saying, “May they be safe and protected” or “May they be free from harm.”

Shaming and blaming doesn’t usually change people’s behavior, experts told Time. It’s better to give people the benefit of the doubt, especially when the guidance on social distancing and masks have changed over time.

“You’re trying to frame it in a way that will motivate people’s behavior, where it’s not like you’re calling them stupid or accusing them of indifference,” Arthur Caplan, director of the Division of Medical Ethics at New York University’s Grossman School of Medicine, told Time. “What you’re trying to do is appeal with carrots, not sticks.”

Experts also say that you shouldn’t assume to know why someone isn’t abiding by the various coronavirus safety precautions.

“You can’t assume you know what is inhibiting someone from engaging in the correct behavior,” Monica Schoch-Spana, a medical anthropologist and senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security, told Time.

For example, some black Americans have expressed fear of wearing face coverings while out in public and getting harassed by the police, according to The New York Times.

Some people with autism aren’t wearing masks due to anxiety, having seizure disorders, or being sensitive to touch and smell.

“My son, who is 19, isn’t wearing a mask, and won’t,” Shannon Des Roches Rosa wrote in The Washington Post. “He’s not being difficult; he’s being autistic. His neurology makes him more sensitive than other people to touch and texture, and he cannot bear the feeling of having his nose and mouth covered by fabric.”

How to deal with family and friends

If a roommate or significant other isn’t practicing social distancing, Dr. Thomas Chin-Chia Tsai, a surgeon and health policy researcher at Brigham and Women’s Hospital and Harvard TH Chan School of Public Health, told The Guardian to still socially distance yourself.

“Do your best to socially distance,” Tsai said. “Maybe don’t sleep in the same bed? Minimize sexual contact. Don’t share toothbrushes. Try to use separate things. You don’t want to be hugging and kissing. You always want to use good hygiene in terms of sneezing and coughing and still doing the handwashing thing frequently. You want to clean surfaces frequently. You might not want to share the same forks and knives unless you’re really sure they’ve been washed thoroughly. That kind of thing. You can have a discussion about how you would divide up your living space — but if they won’t go along, get away.”

To talk to a friend or partner about social distancing, Caplan told The Guardian: “Explain that the goal is to decrease the risk of infecting a lot of people at the same time. And that as an individual, it may seem that you have very little agency in the progression of COVID-19, but that you actually have a very real role and a very important role in breaking the transmission, because for every individual who gets infected, two to three others will be affected. That’s two or three loved ones or friends you could potentially prevent from getting infected.”

This story was originally published May 11, 2020 at 3:59 PM with the headline "What do you do if someone near you isn’t social distancing? Experts have some tips."