So getting married is apparently a thing now, and the world we live in today can’t just do anything normal anymore. Even matrimony. You would think the Shirelles were on to something when they released “Chapel of Love,” but nowadays, when it comes to marriage chapels and churches are fading in favor of the bright lights of Vegas, the blue waters of Hawaii, and…gigantic ferris wheels by the sea.
This of course pales in comparison to some of the other nuptial news stories that have made headlines over the years, but even so, it’s not every day you get to take the plunge 187 feet in the air. No pun intended.
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With that in mind, we look at other potential Myrtle Beach wedding venues for those of you who just aren’t feeling the tux, and want to trade in the church for say a…
- putter? That’s right, we live in Myrtle Beach, home to 100+ golf courses, and yes there are those people who would put on the ugly pants and walk down the green to the final hole. Again, no pun intended. A mini-golf course wedding would be perfect for your and a foursome, (your parents, her parents, amirite?) Your caddie (best man) could hold the rings, and you could ride off into the sunset on a golf cart, the possibilities are endless. Just make sure “never taking a mulligan” is in your vows somewhere.
- Take the plunge. We’ve already discussed taking the plunge from 187 feet in the air, why not ACTUALLY take the plunge from 3,000 feet in the air with a skydiving-themed wedding? Now granted it would be a little odd saying “I do” with your best man strapped to your back…providing he is a certified skydiving instructor in which case your cost will come down a little bit. Good luck to whoever takes a shot at catching the bouquet, and all I can tell you regarding the rings is STEADY HANDS….you think it sucks when you drop your ring in the shower? This is probably worse. Buuutt, if you’re afraid of heights, you may opt for a
- Scuba wedding. That’s right, we’ve tamed the sky, we’ve ridden the gondolas, what better venture than to take on the sea? In a location where the year-round climate averages roughly 68°, you can’t beat an ocean wedding. Now communicating might be a problem, but who needs that in a marriage, amirite?? But seriously, if you MUST talk to your future spouse, then by all means, there is plenty of signage and dry-erase board age to get you through the event. PLUS, you won’t have to hear your mother-in-law squawking your ear off, so we’re already on the right flipper as is. ALSO, you won’t have to feed your guests, so that cuts down on the bill. And doesn’t the ocean belong to God? There you go. Venue’s taken care of.
- Roller coaster wedding. Perhaps you want to throw your stomach up into your chest when you get married. No, I’m not talking about your first fight, I’m talking about ROLLER COASTER WEDDING BABY!! Let’s look at this logically. Most coasters hold about 10-12 people, so that cuts down on your guest list. All coasters have the souvenir photo set up, so you won’t need to hire a photographer, and chances are if you’re on a roller coaster you’re at an amusement park, so there’s your food! Now full disclosure, you’ll probably pay a little more for food in the park than you would AT an actual wedding, but there’s give-and-take in every marriage, and I thin this could be a good first test for you and your spouse. Plus, it teaches compromise. You want a corn dog and she wants a funnel cake? Where, oh WHERE could we possibly arrange to have both of these things?
So you’re not sold on the golf thing. Or “taking the plunge” from a plane, or “diving in head first” underwater. How about a…
5) NASCAR wedding? The pastor could drive, while you and Ricky Bobby sit in the back. He could perform the ceremony at 180 mph while looking at you in the rear view mirror, and NAPA could sponsor so you wouldn’t have to drop a dime! You might have to pay for gas, I’m not 100% sure about that, but hey, that’ll give you incentive not to mess up on the vows. Couple laps around the track and you’re out of there!
Ok, so you DON’T feel the need for speed, that’s fine, life’s gonna slow down considerably after the honeymoon anyway so it’s good to prepare for that. Hmm, let’s see. Alabama fan? Why not get married at
6) The Bowery. That’s right, take your vows down on the boardwalk at The Bowery, where legendary country supergroup Alabama got their start. When you meet them in concert several years later, you could tell them, “Hey! We got OUR start at The Bowery too!” Then you could form your own country super duo, and win some awards, get a private plane, travel all over the world and sign with Interscope Records only to start a theatre here in Myrtle Beach and hire Greg Rowles. Just don’t shoot for a farewell tour.
Alright, we’ve covered the sky, the sea, the track, the stage….why don’t we try a
7) Baseball wedding? Sure, a baseball wedding, there’s nothing more American and romantic that that right! Head on down to Pelicans Ballpark and lace your cleats up for the most important day of your life. Nine guys on a baseball team, there’s your wedding party right there, slugger. I’ll try and walk you through it. Bride walks down the third base line, grok waits at home plate. The whole event is broadcast on the jumbotron, and Edna the pipe organist plays the wedding march followed by a rousing rendition of “Charge!” as you and your beautiful new short stop head out to the parking lot to take the club car to paradise.
Here’s the deal. No matter when, or where, or how you get married, all that matters is that you do it in Vegas. Or at the very least with someone you love. See you at the altar. Or home plate.