Funny Money Not so Funny
Do not pass Go, Do NOT collect five dollars. Because it is fake.
In what appears to be an enormous five dollar bill counterfeit ring, a five dollar bill didn’t make it past the counterfeit pen test at a local restaurant Saturday and now police are investigating exactly where the phony bill originated. Milton Bradley could not be reached for comment.
Myrtle Beach police were called to the McDonald’s at 2607 S. Kings Highway around 8:36 a.m. in reference to a counterfeit $5 bill. A clerk told police a man had tried to pay for his order with the bill, but when she marked it with a pen used to detect counterfeit currency it tested positive. Which is not the first “positive” test McDonald’s has encountered, but that’s for another time.
The customer told police he had other bills in his possession and the rest of his money was found to be legitimate. He paid for his breakfast and told police he had received approximately four five dollar bills from a local candy store the night before, according to a police report.
The officer on scene inspected the bill and found the currency had no raised edges, lacked the proper paper thickness and had faded ink on one side of the bill. There were no watermarks or ink dots in the grain of the bill when held to the light, police said in the report. Also the face on the bill was Gene Hackman.
An officer found that the ink on the front side of the bill rubbed off on a piece of white paper. The counterfeit currency case is still under investigation. No arrests were made Saturday.
Smoke Shops: Americana Lost
Remember the days when smoke shops used to be crime free? Those were the good ‘ol days.
But we live in a different world, now. A world in which a man used a bar stool to smash out the store window of Hookah Heaven in Myrtle Beach and took about $1,000 worth of merchandise before leaving through the store’s front door.
Myrtle Beach police were called about 4 am Tuesday to the smoke shop at 510 N. Kings Hwy. for an alarm activation, according to a police report.
Officers saw a shattered window when they arrived at the store and called for backup. Police discovered the business’ front door was unlocked and found no one inside when they did a protective sweep of the store, authorities said.
A store employee arrived to the smoke shop and provided police with a copy of store surveillance footage.
At about 3:48 am a man looks through the store window, finds a bar stool outside the business and shatters the window then uses the stool as he steps up to crawl through the store window, police said after viewing the security footage.
First gun control, now they’re going to take our barstools away from us. Thanks a lot, Obama.
The footage shows the suspect walking through the store and taking a small smoking glass pipe, valued at $400, and a large “Grave Labs” smoking glass pipe, valued at $600, police said. The suspect then unlocks the front door of the business and leaves.
I’m not pointing fingers, but I think I would start my investigation at “Cradle Labs,” see what those guys are up to.
Shooting Someone: A Comprehensive Look at What NOT to do
In today’s edition of what NOT to do when shooting someone, a man broke the cardinal rule of recreationally shooting another person: He hung around.
If there was a course taught on Saturday nights at the rec center on shooting another person, their motto would most certainly be: Do NOT hang out directly after shooting someone.
A suspect connected to Tuesday’s Shetland Lane shooting did just that, staying on scene until officers arrived, police said.
Horry County police responded to 3225 Shetland Lane around 4:45 p.m. Tuesday for a gunshot victim. The victim, a white male, was shot once in the extremities and taken to Grand Strand Medical Center, police said.
When officers arrived they found a man lying on the ground holding his left hand over a gunshot wound on his stomach, according to a police report. The victim also had a Beretta 9mm firearm in his right hand. Not a great night.
Officers secured the gun and a witness pointed out the suspect to police, the report said, because really there was just one other guy there, and by the power of deduction, we can clearly see, that…yep. You get it.
The suspect admitted to shooting the suspect because obviously, and was taken into custody. The suspect told police he shot the victim because the victim was pointing a shotgun at the suspect’s brother, who wisely observed rule number one of shooting someone.
Police took custody of both weapons and officers are still investigating.
Blue Light Special is a roundup of the Myrtle Beach area’s weird and wild crime, written with a saracastic and/or humorous twist. It is meant as a parody. Don’t take it too seriously; we don’t.