Blue Light Special | No sex=Nunchucks and time in the slammer for woman who couldn’t stand husband’s gas
Police: Victim tied up with phone cords as three men rob his room
Myrtle Beach police are investigating an alleged robbery.
Officers were called to a hotel room in the 700 block of South Ocean Boulevard about 5:45 p.m. Feb. 21 on reports of a robbery.
The victim told police that there was a knock on his door about 5 p.m. and he opened the door expecting a friend, and instead found a foe.
Three foes, actually.
Three men were standing at the door and entered the room at gunpoint, according to the police report.
The victim said one of the suspects grabbed him by the throat and the other suspects tied his hands and feet with phone cords, according to the report. Yet another reason why this country needs to embrace change and move away from the landline — it’s nothing but trouble.
The victim also told police that one of the suspects asked him “Where the guns at?”
‘Behind the preposition ‘at,’ he replied.
According to the report, the suspects allegedly took a television, Playstation 4, and several hundred dollars. Needless to say, victim and friend did NOT play PS4 and roll around in hundreds of dollars that night.
The victim told police that after the suspects left the room, he freed himself and saw the suspects fleeing in a Black Ford Focus with South Carolina plates, LFR455.
If you have any information, you are asked to call the Myrtle Beach Police Department.
A former Brunswick County sheriff’s deputy is accused of impersonating a law enforcement officer
Jessica Elizabeth Falor, 24, of Macklin Street in Leland, N.C., was arrested Feb. 15, and charged with simple assault, breaking or entering and two counts of impersonating a law enforcement officer, warrants show. All charges are misdemeanors.
Falor was hired by the sheriff’s office as a detention deputy Jan. 28, 2015, and was a drug court deputy when she resigned Nov. 19, 2015, sheriff’s office spokeswoman Emily Flax said.
According to warrants, Falor searched a woman’s residence on Cherry Tree Road in Winnabow, N.C., where another woman was visiting, telling them she was a sworn law enforcement officer and displayed a badge on Feb. 12. Falor is also accused of shoving the resident with her elbow and telling the visitor, “Don’t lie to me. I’m a cop!”
Falor was booked at the Brunswick County Detention Facility on Monday night where she impersonated an inmate and was released on $2,000 bail, Flax said.
Woman accused of beating husband with nunchucks because he refused sex
A woman in South Carolina hurled ceramic figurines at her husband and hit him with nunchucks after he refused to have sex with her, police revealed Feb. 17. A good tip to take away from our opening sentence? Never date a woman with nunchucks.
Sondra Earle-Kelly, 51, faces aggravated domestic violence charges, Fox 8 reports. The fight took place the night of Jan. 17 in Rock Hill, north of Columbia, investigators say.
Kelly’s husband was watching TV in his living room when she asked him to go to bed with her, police told The Charlotte Observer. When he refused, she kept “assaulting him with whatever she could pick up,” police report. Apparently that included nunchucks.
They also say the woman claimed she had no idea how her husband got hurt. Could have been the nunchucks. Who’s to say. Police said she’d been taking the sedative Xanax.
Officers said the wife had wounds to her abdomen that were apparently self-inflicted. Which is why you NEVER operate nunchucks without a trained supervisor. Unless you’re in a cartoon on Saturday morning.
She was released on $15,000 bond.
Police: Woman arrested after fighting with husband who wouldn’t stop farting
In an age-old argument, a woman is facing a charge of battery for fighting with her husband who couldn’t stop passing gas.
Donald Fitzroy Meikle told Port St. Lucie, Fla., police his wife, Dawn, elbowed him on the arm when he passed gas in bed, according to the Associated Press. This happened early in the morning on Dec. 11. Meikle said she eventually kicked him out of bed because his flatulence wouldn’t stop.
The victim said his wife let him back into bed. He passed gas again, according to the report, which is down right hilarious, and she started to kick and elbow him. Meikle said he held his wife for his own safety. All women love that. During the struggle, she suffered a split lip and he suffered several scratches across his chest.
Dawn called 911.
Police said she also sprayed pepper spray to keep her husband out of the bathroom. Please enjoy this free advertisement for Glade’s all-new pepper-scented bathroom spray.
Blue Light Special is a roundup of the Myrtle Beach area’s weird and wild crime, written with a saracastic and/or humorous twist. It is meant as a parody. Don’t take it too seriously; we don’t.
This story was originally published February 25, 2016 at 12:00 AM with the headline "Blue Light Special | No sex=Nunchucks and time in the slammer for woman who couldn’t stand husband’s gas."