Swiping right into Mr. or Miss Right’s arms

Back in the distant past, circa 1998, a college student returned from a night out at the bars and bragged to his roommates about the beautiful junior he chatted up all night.

His buddies were high fives all around when the guy who was, at that moment, so money he did know it, and pulled out the bar napkin the girl wrote her number on.

Then, not to be upstaged by his seemingly suave friend, one of the roommates announced that he, too, had met a lady a few nights earlier.

“Where?” the curious compatriots asked.

“In a chat room,” the just-as-proud Casanova exclaimed.

Alas, his news was not met with adulation and kudos but, rather, laughter and mockery.

A hypothetical tale, yes, but one that perfectly sums up what online dating was like at the turn of the century.

My, how the tables have turned.

In 2016, the quest to meet a partner for casual dating, casual sex or long-term relationships has moved away from happy hour, study hour and worship hour and into the confines of social media and group outings that are organized online.

You want to single out the guys and girls you are attracted to? All it takes is a swipe of your finger to the right on the dating app Tinder, and you are on your way to a potential match.

Oh, and a swipe to the left means you are not physically attracted to the person whose image is staring back at you on your smartphone.

According to a 2014 New York Times story, Tinder had processed more than a billion swipes left and right daily between its 2012 inception and 2014. It also matched more than 12 million people during the same timeframe.

“It’s just providing another opportunity for us to pair up and match people,” said Dr. Terry Pettijohn, the chair of Coastal Carolina University’s Department of Psychology. “It’s a changing part of our culture.”

And it’s not just Tinder that is changing the way the sexes meet. Online dating, which once seemed taboo and laughable, is now socially accepted. Websites like Match, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish and countless others contain millions of user profiles.

According to the 2015 Singles in America study conducted by Match.com and ResearchNow, 82 percent of online daters went on a date in 2014. That trumps the 49 percent of offliners who met up with a potential mate.

That same study found online daters went on an average of 4.2 dates in 2014, compared to 2.8 for those offline.

Obviously, a lot has changed over nearly 20 years. But why?

“We’ve moved to this point where everybody uses their phone for everything,” said Pettijohn. “It’s just providing another opportunity for us to pair up and match people.”

Pettijohn added that using technology for dating allows the person to find that certain someone on their own time, as opposed to scheduling things like parties or other social activities where the hope is Mr. or Mrs. Right will be in attendance.

If you’re looking for that potential soulmate or “friend with benefits” on Tinder, use it at 9 p.m.

According to new Nielsen information provided to The Huffington Post, this is the key time when most people are using the app. Usage begins plummeting after 10 p.m., the data sample found.

Nielsen’s data also noted that dating site OkCupid sees its popularity spike more between 8 and 10 a.m. than in parts of the afternoon, early evening and late at night.

Jerri McKee, a Myrtle Beach transplant originally from Philadelphia, is one who tried her hand at online dating as opposed to dating apps upon moving to the Grand Strand.

Through sites like Match and Plenty of Fish, McKee went on several first dates, although love never really blossomed. Part of that had to do with her traveling for a living, she said.

“I didn’t feel like I was absolutely ready,” McKee said. “I tried, but I didn’t feel like my whole heart was in it.”

Enter the meetup group.

Another dating phenomenon that starts online, this initiative helps people with similar interests plan events and facilitate offline group meetings.

Since December 2013, Joanne Occhipinti has overseen the Grand Strand Singles meetup group. Originally from New Jersey, she was on her own a few days before her first Myrtle Beach Thanksgiving.

Some others on Meetup were in the same boat, so they all got together and enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner together.

Occhipinti then realized that, to meet people, the best thing she could do was start her own group. Thus, Grand Strand Singles was born.

Still, despite its name, it’s not exactly what one would expect.

Occhipinti said the group has transformed into more of a place for single transplants to enjoy a fun social community than a place to find romance.

“It’s still dating, but the emphasis isn’t really the dating,” Occhipinti said. “But I still have a few success stories.”

McKee is one of them.

She credits the meetup group for introducing her to her now-boyfriend, David. McKee admits she initially signed up for four different events but chickened out and didn’t go.

Then, in 2015, she signed up for a bowling meetup in Surfside Beach. McKee liked that this social outing wasn’t taking place at a restaurant or during happy, and that most of the attendees were female.

McKee was actually looking to make more friends.

“Meeting David was a happy accident,” she said.

The two attended several more meetups and got to know each other better before going on their first official date three weeks after that initial introduction.

They are still going strong.

When thinking about dating apps like Tinder versus online dating sites like OKCupid and the meetups, McKee enjoys the latter. She prefers taking things slow and getting to know a person through emails and phone calls before the first date.

That isn’t necessarily the case with dating apps.

“Everybody is immediate,” McKee said. “Let’s do something right now.”

Pettijohn said text messaging has helped give rise to more immediate satisfaction, allowing dating apps to grow in popularity.

“When you communicated with someone it was much more formal,” he said. “Now, you’ve kind of lost some of that formality and people are looking for immediate responses, immediate reactions.”

And while technology has allowed singles to gain access to a greater number of people, there are drawbacks.

Arnold Garduilo and his wife, Holly, are just a few who said they had bad experiences with online dating. A lot of it centered on dishonesty in a potential mate’s internet profile.

But the two eventually found happiness with each other and are looking to help others do the same, although in a more old-fashioned way.

The two started the new Myrtle Beach Speed Date, a place where singles can come together in a fun, secure environment, something they feel is lacking in online dating because of the nature of it.

Arnold Garduilo said part of what makes their service different is no one discloses personal information until after the event. So, if John likes Jill and Jill likes John, both will get an email the next day from the organizers announcing there was a mutual attraction and providing contact details.

Holly Garduilo says there is a comfort that can be found in speed dating because other people are around.

Plus, there is the time factor.

“You have an escape,” she said. “It’s only six minutes long.”

And who knows? Those six minutes could eventually grow into 60 years.

Ultimately, despite the changes in technology when it comes to dating and the growing pool of possible matches that are found online or through the swipe of a smartphone, compatibility, manners and a sprinkling of chivalry will always be part of the mix.

“It still has to work itself out the old-fashioned way as far as relationship progression,” Pettijohn said.

This story was originally published February 11, 2016 at 12:00 AM with the headline "Swiping right into Mr. or Miss Right’s arms."