Johnny Football, Star Wars and other pop culture musings

By Josh Bell

For The Surge

We need to talk about James Dean.

Wait. No. No, no, James DEEN. That’s right, not the guy famous for racing cars and having awesome hair, the guy famous for fornicating on camera and more recently, raping women.

Deen was accused recently by not one, or two, but now three different porn actresses of sexual assault. Now I’m not saying he’s guilty, what I am saying is that remember when Bill Cosby was accused of rape by not one, not two, not three, not eight, but eleventy-million women of sexual assault? What I am saying is that HE is guilty so, connect the dots.

Keep in mind this stand-up citizen was once the chairperson of a group that represents adult performers; that’s like Jared Fogle running a children’s founda- oh wait a second. In addition to Deen’s newfound women troubles, he is now apparently being dropped by various porn production companies and is now at the mercy of the court of Twitter, which is a bad place to be. Just ask Donald Trump.

Deen has vehemently denied the claims against him, writing on Twitter that the allegations are “egregious,” “false,” and “defamatory.” “I respect women and I know and respect limits both professionally and privately,” he wrote.

Clearly, based on his body of work.

In the sports world, two major stories that are circulating around on social media involve Kobe Bryant, a man at the end of his storied career, and Johnny Manziel, also a man probably at the end of his [insert adjective here] career.

Bryant has announced he has grown tired of forcing people to move out of Los Angeles, and will hang up his No. 24 jersey. Presumably right next to his No. 8 jersey, in the closet where he keeps the gifted blue dress he received from his friend Bill last February.

Manziel’s blue dress comes not in the form of a jersey, but more in the form of a champagne bottle. And tequila bottle. And vodka bottle. And whiskey bottle. And other bottles containing stuff that will probably burn your eyes.

Manziel, fresh out of rehab for his tumultuous off-field troubles last season, has decided to celebrate his release by the obvious decision to go home to Texas and drink a lot of alcohol and then lie about it. When questioned by coaches about a cell phone video that surfaced, showing him drinking hard and partying, Manziel informed the coaches that the video took place at a different time. Spoiler alert: That was a lie.

Johnny Football issued a public statement this past April after his release from the rehab facility, stating:

“I owe private apologies to a lot of people that I disappointed but a very public one to the Browns organization and the fans that I let down. I take full responsibility for my actions and it’s my intention to work very hard to regain everyone’s trust and respect. I understand that will take time and will only happen through what I do and not what I say.”

Cmd: Select All + Copy + Paste.

Speaking of copying, the new Star Wars film is upon us! The seventh installation of the billion dollar franchise will hit theaters Dec. 18, and George Lucas couldn’t be more happy about it. Says Lucas: “It’s like when a grown child gets married. “I gotta go to the wedding. My ex will be there, my new wife will be there, but I’m going to have to take a very deep breath and be a good person and sit through it and just enjoy the moment, because it is what it is and it’s a conscious decision that I made.”

Wow. what a preview. I don’t know about you, but my lightsaber is rocking and ready to go.

In addition to his enthusiasm for the new installation to his franchise, Lucas also revealed in a lengthy new Washington Post profile that since 2000, he’s avoided the internet and all its trappings like Facebook, Twitter, even email because of Star Wars.

Now would not be a good time for a new iMac.