Blue Light Special | The tales of Bobby Joe, Ro-bike-cop, and an inconvenient assault

Society: 1 | Bobby Joe: 0

Myrtle Beach police responded around 1:50 a.m. Sunday to a report of an intoxicated man refusing to leave a business in the 7700 block of North Kings Highway.

When police arrived, they found Bobby Joe Buffkin, Jr., 42, lounging against the front of the business. Which if we’re being honest, the drunk guy refusing to leave an area at 2 in the morning most definitely WOULD be named “Bobby Joe Buffkin.”

According to the police report, Buffkin appeared heavily intoxicated and had slurred speech. Typical Bobby Joe, amirite?

While the officer was putting Buffkin in handcuffs, Buffkin, in typical Bobby Joe fashion, pulled his left arm away, hindering the officer from cuffing him, the police report said. According to the report, Buffkin continued pulling away from the officers, making a search difficult and refused to sit in the patrol car, because after all, “this is ‘Merica,” Bobby Joe said.

Bobby Joe did not say that.

According to the police report, on the way to the jail, Buffkin said, “If I want you dead, you will be dead,” which not surprisingly was also his senior quote. We’ll have to double check that. Buffkin then threatened the officer’s mother and stated he was with the Irish mob and “it wouldn’t take long, probably two months.”

Two months actually is surprisingly quick for a hit to be taken. Bobby Joe’s ties to the IRA could not be confirmed.

Buffkin is charged with public intoxication, resisting arrest, loitering, and probably drinking PBR and singing Lee Greenwood’s “Proud to be an American,” and having a tattoo of a Bald Eagle flying in front of an Amercian flag. OH, and also a warrant is sought for threatening the life of a public official.

The Fast and the Furious. And the Bicycle Cop

A Myrtle Beach police officer was patrolling an area near the intersection of Oak and Maple streets on his bicycle Saturday night when he heard a shot ring, according to an incident report.

The officer reported hearing the shot originate in the 600 block of Maple Street around midnight.

The officer investigated, but found no evidence of a shooting and reported the “area was quiet.” A few minutes later, the officer heard a second gunshot south of Sixth Avenue North on Maple Street and pedaled (lol) to the scene where the officer witnessed a muzzle flash and a third shot ring out from the rear driver’s side window of a white or silver Ford Taurus, according to the report.

“The muzzle flash indicated the handgun was pointed upward when the weapon was discharged,” according to the report.

The officer said the exterior lights of the Taurus were then turned off as it turned east and sped down North Oak Street “continuing to travel recklessly.”

Needless to say the car chase lasted approximately 4 seconds.

The officer reported observing a “darker-skinned male wearing a blue and white plaid shirt” seated behind the driver of the car as it turned right on Sixth Avenue South.

Multiple officers responded to the area, but were unable to locate the vehicle and no signs of damage or shell casings were found at the scene.

An Inconvenient assault

A man wanted for assaulting a 60-year-old convenience store clerk during a robbery has been arrested in West Virginia, police said.

To be fair, the clerk short changed him a dime after his purchase of Smarties and Vitamin water.

Salvador Sanchez Ware, 35, of Conway is expected to be extradited to South Carolina to face charges for a strong-armed robbery early November 18, according to Lt. Raul Denis with Horry County police.

Ware will be charged with kidnapping, assault in the first degree, and strong-arm robbery, Denis said.

Officers responded to the Scotchman Convenience Store at 510 Highway 544 in Conway around 6:33 a.m. on a Wednesday in November to report a robbery, Denis said.

Before leaving the store with an undetermined amount of money, the suspect assaulted the 60-year-old clerk “causing severe injuries that required medical attention,” Denis said. Which naturally describes the severity of “serious injuries.”

Ware has been jailed three previous times this year on various charges, including breach of peace, assault and battery, criminal domestic violence, and arguing with his grandfather, according to jail records.

Blue Light Special is a roundup of the Myrtle Beach area’s weird and wild crime, written with a saracastic and/or humorous twist. It is meant as a parody. Don’t take it too seriously; we don’t.