Friendsgiving: A Guide to Tackling Turkey Day with Friends

Each year, I am thankful to live in Myrtle Beach. I never tire of the sunshine, the feeling of sand sifting between my toes, or the bustle of summertime traffic and tourists.

And, while my parents and most of my family still live almost 600 miles away in Pittsburgh, Penn., I have formed another family here at the beach, one encompassing a kind and caring group of friends that make me feel grateful for moving here more than eight years ago.

The lush landscape and endless sunshine is what drew my best friend, Holly Meyer, and my boyfriend, now husband Michael Robertson, and I to move to the area in September 2007. We were tired of gloomy winters and in need of a change both personally and professionally.

We figured it was ‘now or never.’

On a trip to Myrtle Beach that July, we decided to explore apartments, just to see what was available. On our second to last stop, we toured a beautiful and affordable apartment four blocks from the ocean in Surfside Beach. Done! We signed the rental agreement the next day.

Realistically, I’d be lying if I said it was all sunshine and roses since we first unlocked the door at our cozy little apartment. But through a progression of jobs, hardships, and blessings, all three of us have never regretted making the move.

The biggest reason I love living in Myrtle Beach is our close group of friends we’ve made throughout the years. The Beatles said it best, “I get by with a little help from my friends.” And when you’re celebrating holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, nothing is truer when you’re far from home.

When we first moved, during the first couple of years, we couldn’t make the trek north. Either due to a lack of time off from our jobs or low funds, it just wasn’t realistic to head home for Thanksgiving. So we decided to start a new tradition — we would spend the day feasting with friends.

“Our first holiday away from family was hard. Here we were 600 miles from home and had to start our own traditions for the holidays,” says Holly. “We hosted our first Thanksgiving with some new friends, who have now become like family. It’s a great day to spend some time with those near and dear to us.”

As the years have progressed, each Thanksgiving has brought new friends and new traditions to our table.

My friend Connie Dennis moved here with her son Daniel Apontè and husband Donald Dennis in 2008 from Maryland. Making the trip home to either central New York or Oklahoma for the holidays hasn’t always been possible; instead they’ve partaken in Friendsgiving gatherings with us and others throughout the years.

“It absolutely makes being away from home bearable. For me holidays are about shared experiences. If you can’t have the traditional experiences of being with your kin, then by all means extend your family to include your close friends,” says Connie. “Family is what you make it.”

For Connie and her family, the best part of Thanksgiving is getting together with people she enjoys spending time with and sharing the experience of cooking and eating together.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about the pumpkin pie, but it’s just not as good when you’re eating it alone,” she says.

Other friends my husband and I’ve broken Thanksgiving bread with include the Torrens family. Meg Torrens, her husband Sean Torrens and daughter Caitlin Torrens have hosted as well as dined at several Friendsgiving events here in Myrtle Beach in recent years. Due to work obligations and time restrictions, traveling home to New York is not always feasible.

“I remember growing up and having big family gatherings and instilling those traditions,” says Meg. “Not having a lot of family around here, I want my child to experience the whole getting together custom. We’ve tried to establish really close friends that are like family, so she can still experience that kind of tradition.”

While Meg says it’s more enjoyable to attend a Friendsgiving event, hosting it can be just as fun. Her advice for pulling it off?

“I would coordinate with the guests as to who will bring what dish,” she says. “I think the host should cook the turkey, but coordinate with whoever is coming to fill out the menu.”

So, if going home for Thanksgiving is not possible this year, hosting your friends for a day of feasting is a tradition worth trying. And while it may seem daunting to make a large meal for a group, it can actually be quite simple with a little pre-planning and preparation. You don’t have to be Martha Stewart of Emeril Lagasse to wow your friends.

There are a ton of simple cheap and chic solutions for hosting a Friendsgiving event. To do so, keep the three D’s in mind when planning —decorate, delegate, and deviate from the usual plan for a little fun. Decorate to add a welcoming scene, delegate cooking duties, and deviate from being bored by adding some light entertainment.

I’ve enlisted the help of my friends to provide some elegant and affordable decorations, easy recipes, and ideas for entertaining a large group this Friendsgiving.

SET THE SCENE

So the Facebook event invite has been sent and you’re hosting 8-10 of your nearest and dearest friends for Thanksgiving.

As the host, you will want to create a warm and inviting atmosphere for you and your guests. While many people decorate their home inside and out for every holiday, you don’t have to bust your budget to set a welcoming scene of Thanksgiving comfort. Instead of decorating your whole house, opt to focus the décor in one area, namely where you plan to sit and eat, i.e. your dining room table, card table or bar area.

One of the easiest, chicest and cheapest ways to set the mood for any holiday is with a tablescape. A well planned and imaginatively decorated table top doesn’t have to break the bank or be overly formal. Whether you have a shabby plastic card table that seats four, or an elegant dining room set that seats 12, presenting a beautifully decorated tablescape is an easy way to make friends feel at home.

A tablescape generally includes a centerpiece, place cards, and coordinating linens, glassware, dishes and flatware. It can be the sum of all these things or just a few, all you need is a little creativity to pull it all together.

Here are a few key pieces to focus on and tips on how to create your own.

CENTERPIECE

Depending on the size of your table and budget, creating a centerpiece is a simple way to decorate a small or large table. Even if you’re using your best china or simple paper plates, a centerpiece will add a bit of character and class to the festivities.

While many retailers offer pre-made centerpieces for sale, they can often be overpriced or kitschy. Making one can be just as easy and fun. You can create one simply from gathering a few décor pieces from around your home, or making a quick stop at a craft or grocery store.

Two elements that go with any home décor style: pumpkins and pillar candles.

Since both items are available in varying sizes, shapes, and colors, they offer a great starting point for creating an eye-catching design, in a small amount of time and a small budget.

Holly Meyer, my friend and occasional event planner in Myrtle Beach, and I created two fall-themed centerpieces for this occasion in a matter of an hour: one rustic and traditional, the other coastal and modern.

To create the rustic fall centerpiece, we utilized a small old crate, three pillar candles (one large, two medium), burlap cut in pieces, berries strung together on a cord, faux leaves, and pine cones. While Holly already had these items scattered throughout her home, you can easily shop for these pieces at retailers like A.C. Moore, Michael’s, and Old Time Pottery.

We placed three canned goods inside the crate as a base for the three pillar candles so they would sit above the edge of the crate and give a dimension of height. Then we tucked crinkled brown paper lunch bags down around the base of the candles to hide the canned goods and create a backdrop for the burlap.

After the bags were in place, we cut about ten pieces of two inch wide strips of large weave burlap that each measured about a foot long. We folded and twisted the burlap strips before tucking them into the outer rim of the crate. Once we had the burlap in place, we then weaved small red berries strung on a cord in and around the burlap and candles.

We finished it off by randomly placing faux cloth orange, yellow and green leaves to add a pop of color, and a few small pine cones for an added rustic detail.

To make this work with your dishes or tablecloth, you could easily swap out shorter or taller pillar candles in different colors, add faux or real acorns instead of pine cones, or opt for a more vibrant color of burlap or fabric.

This kind of centerpiece is not only easy, but very versatile. It will look pleasant perched on a white table cloth or a simple orange table runner, and patterned paper plates and napkins in yellow and orange hues will look just as chic as your best crème or white tableware.

“This tablescape mixes rustic elements with everyday supplies,” explains Holly. “A vintage crate filled with burlap, berries and pine cones brings the feel of the crisp fall air indoors, and the warm inviting glow of candlelight is added by a few pillar candles in coordinating colors.”

To create the coastal and modern centerpiece, we used a large round silver tray and placed a medium sized white pumpkin in the center.

From there, we placed silk hydrangeas in midnight blue and sage on each side of the pumpkin. Once the flowers were in place, we arranged a collection of seashells in various sizes and shapes around the tray. To finish the look, two small strips of silk green ribbon were woven into the design.

For a formal addition, two tall white pillars on silver candlesticks were added on each side of the centerpiece and we set crisp, white china, silverware and wine goblets.

“This centerpiece brings the natural elements of our area inside with a modern twist for a sleek coastal Thanksgiving,” says Meyer. “The seashells can also double as place card holders to welcome your guests to the table.”

White pumpkins are very popular this year, but if you wanted to create a different effect, you could stencil or paint a pumpkin with metallic paint, use sunflowers or real flowers, or forgo the tray and use a large serving plate or a table runner as the base.

PLACE CARDS

Place cards are another fun and easy decorating idea that are also functional. Handmade or printed, a place card helps your guest find a seat easily, and it helps you to ensure you have enough seating available for everyone.

Place cards are the easiest way to add a personalized touch to your décor, and there are a variety of ways to create them. Names don’t have to be written in calligraphy or embossed on small ornate pieces of paper, you can simply print your guest’s name or utilize a printer and cardstock to create a simple tag or table tent.

Other simple ideas include mini pumpkins with guest’s names written on tags adorning the stem with raffia, and leaf shapes cut from colorful craft paper with names written on them and tied to the napkin.

For the rustic and traditional centerpiece, we made simple place cards by tying small manila tags with raffia to the rims of green hued mason jars, which double as drinkware. As for the nautical and modern centerpiece, names were handwritten on the back of a scallop shell and placed over a white linen napkin with green silk ribbon that coordinated with hues in the centerpiece.

TABLESCAPE

Now to finish the look, set the table with your best tableware, silverware, and glassware.

Not sure how? The Emily Post Institute offers guides online for setting a basic, formal and informal table (you can check it out here: www.emilypost.com/advice/table-setting-guides) and takes all the guess work as to where to put what fork, glass or plate.

If you have a table big enough and plan on having a sit down affair, set the table for all the courses you will be serving. This ensures everyone has what they need right at their fingertips.

Or, if you’re going to serve a buffet and are using you’re best china, set the table for the main course, so guests can pick up a plate and go, and leave additional plates near the appetizers and desserts for easy use.

If you would rather use paper plates, set real silverware with the place cards, but stack large paper plates at the start of the buffet, with smaller paper plates and napkins tucked next to the desserts with extra silverware.

Once the tableware, glassware, silverware, place cards and centerpiece are in place, you’re ready to tackle the turkey.

FOOD & DRINK

Now to the nitty gritty — the food and drink.

Planning is just as important as cooking when it comes to the menu. Traditionally, turkey is the main course, with several sides including mashed potatoes, candied yams, carrots, green beans, stuffing, gravy, cranberries, and more. Once you figure out how many guests you will have, you’ll want to plan how much food to serve.

Depending on what type of eaters your friends are, you’ll want to plan for about 1 ½ to 2 pounds of turkey per person, plus a variety of sides, vegetables, and at least two dessert options.

If you don’t plan to prepare and cook the entire meal, consider making the turkey and assigning guests to bring a side that’s a staple in their family. During my Friendsgiving events, I prepared a few appetizers, made the turkey and a dessert, and organized with my friends to fill in the sides with recipes they favored from home.

While cooking a turkey seems like an impossible feat, in today’s easy bake world, it’s not. It’s actually pretty easy. My first year making a turkey on my own, my mother-in-law informed me into her secret for a juicy turkey with little or no work- an oven bag. Oven bags are made from heat resistant nylon to roast meat in an oven, and as long as you follow the directions, they’re super easy and efficient. I’ve used one every year since. The turkey always comes out juicy and there is no need to continually baste the bird.

I also use a specific rub on my turkey, but you can find a variety of easy ways to prepare a turkey online through websites like the thekitchn.com and Food52.com.

As for sides, I’ve enlisted my friends to share with me recipes that hold a special Thanksgiving meaning to them. These are special dishes they prepare every year, that remind them of home, and just down right taste amazing. So if you’re not sure what to make, these recipes may help inspire you.

Sides

Desserts

ENTERTAIN ME

While most people gather around the television for some quality time with their favorite football team, if you have a group of friends that are not all pigskin fans, having a few games handy is never a bad idea.

If you enjoy the outdoors, Kubb is a classic Viking game that is entertaining, and can be played just about anywhere. My husband and I have played it in our yard at a few gatherings, as well as on the beach. It’s an easy, fun game to learn and can be played between two players and up to twenty if you take turns.

Kubb is comprised of large wood blocks that teams take turns trying to knock over by pitching throwing sticks from around 26 feet away. The ultimate goal is to knock down all the opposing teams kubbs, then take out the king to claim victory. It can create some healthy competition between players, and is a great way to enjoy some fresh air after too much turkey.

If the weather is weary, opt to stay indoors and play a few board games.

For family friendly fun, try your drawing hand at Telestrations, it’s the telephone game meets Pictionary. Or, if you have an all adult group, a few rounds of Cards Against Humanity will have you all wincing and laughing at the vulgarity.

This story was originally published November 20, 2015 at 9:35 AM with the headline "Friendsgiving: A Guide to Tackling Turkey Day with Friends."