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Blue Light Special | Cops, meet golf cart

Cart crashers

With all the golf carts zipping around the 29578 zip code, it’s not surprising that a crash would happen between a car and those annoying four-wheeled vehicles.

In this case, it involved two Myrtle Beach Police officers who had a rear-ender with a car near the Carolina Country Music Fest Kick-Off Party.

Although it sounds like a bad country song, it actually involves real injuries and a golf cart being driven without its lights on.

The crash happened June 4 around Second Avenue North, according to reports.

The two Myrtle Beach officers were hurt when they rear-ended a cart that was stopping at a stop sign.

The offending vehicle did not have its lights on, according to police officials.

The officers were soon treated and released from the hospital. Their injuries weren’t serious, reports said.

Unlike a real country song, where someone always “gets a warning from the blue lights,” no one one was charged in this incident. There was also no angry father and a “What was I thinking,” video involved.

Home shooters

What could say more than “Welcome to Conway” than someone shooting through your home during the breakfast hour?

Two very homely men were arrested for doing just that on June 4.

The crime reports said the men were charged with attempted murder and discharging a weapon into a dwelling on Periwinkle Court.

The shooting happened after a 29-year-old Conway resident said he was cooking breakfast when a shotgun blast interrupted his repast.

First you’re cooking Jimmy Dean sausage and “whomp” biscuits, then “blam,” it’s over.

Police, however, were soon able to find the two shooters, based on a description of the vehicle involved.

One of the shooters then reportedly fibbed to police, saying there was “no shotgun in the house.” He also said there was no one else in the residence.

A search warrant revealed the truth; there is always a shotgun in the house in South Carolina.

There is also the high probability that someone is hiding under the bed, in the same residence.

Both suspicions turned out to be true, in this case.

Cyrus Beard III and Brandon Cooper were both charged in the shooting incident.

Both men face additional charges, such as being stupid and really mean.

The additional charges include obtaining a signature or property under false pretenses and possession of a controlled substance, according to police.

Want to buy a lamp post?

Two Andrews town employees were detained this past week after police discovered they were buying stolen municipal property.

Jackie Shaw and Kenneth Sessions were charged June 5 with buying a stolen lamp post.

The two work for the town’s maintenance department, according to reports.

What they wanted to do with a stolen lamp post is totally unclear.

Andrews police first heard of the lamp post heist around 11 a.m. June 5.

The town employees reportedly bought the lamp post from two other people who stole the item from North Magnolia Avenue.

Andrews police vowed that they would root out those who stole town equipment.

They are still looking for the original lamp post nabbers.

Meanwhile, Shaw and Sessions were charged with receiving stolen goods.

Load of crap

In what could only be described as really crappy news, police are investigating after two port-o-potties were set on fire at Myrtle Beach Intermediate School.

The incident happened around 2:45 p.m. June 4, according to police.

One small crapper was destroyed and a larger one had serious damage, according to police.

The toilets were valued at more than $2,000.

Who knew that portable receptacles could be valued at quite that much.

Let’s hope no one was inside when the smoke started pouring and the crap hit the fan.

No arrests have been made in the smelly arson.

Blue Light Special is a roundup of the Myrtle Beach area’s weird and wild crime, written with a saracastic and/or humorous twist. It is meant as a parody. Don’t take it too seriously; we don’t.

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