Bob Bestler

Throwing a few back with man's best friend

News item: A Dutch pet shop owner developed a beef-flavored beer so she could have drinks with her Weimaraners.

I can just hear the cocktail-hour banter with my Corgi now.

"Hey, Zoe. How ya' doin'? Why don't you run in the kitchen and grab us a coupla brewskis? As you like to say, it's always 5 o'clock somewhere.

"Atta girl. Thanks.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I've had a heck of a day.

"Yeah, played golf this morning. Lousy golf.

"This cold weather sure doesn't help my game. Can't seem to get the muscles moving. Yeah, you're right: what muscles. You're a funny little Pembroke, aren't you?

"Then I had to stop for groceries on the way home. Seems that's about all I do these days. Buy groceries, make supper. Buy groceries, make supper.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. 'How the mighty have fallen.' That's pretty funny, too.

"Seriously, Zoe, you need some new material. That's the same thing you said when I mentioned doing laundry one day.

"So what've you been up to?

"Slept over there on the rug for a while? Then over there? Then you got a drink of water before you jumped up on the bed and slept a little more?

"Sounds like my kind of day. As I've told you before: A dog's life ain't half bad.

"How're you and Bo getting along these days?

"Same ol', same ol', huh. You chase him awhile, then he chases you. Oh, sure, I can imagine it's a lot of fun, but you have to be careful. Always remember Bo's a cat. You're a lot bigger and stronger. So take it easy.

"What's that on the floor? Oh, I see you got ahold of another pen and chewed it to bits. My bad. I shouldn't have left it out. Remind me to get a pack of chewies next time I'm at the store. Or should I just buy more pens, hah-hah.

"So how do you like this beer? It's called Kwispelbier. Kwispel means 'wagging tail' in Dutch.

"Ironic, isn't it. You love the beer, but you don't have a tail to wag. Wonder what the Dutch word is for 'likes to bark.'

"Yeah, I enjoyed the Westminster Dog Show, too. How about that Diamond Jim, the English springer who won best in show?

"Did you say, 'He was hot?' Geez, Zoe, one beer and you're talking like Paris Hilton.

"Starting to nod off, are you? I know, I know. Beer makes me drowsy, too.

"Well, go ahead, take another nap. I gotta stay awake. Gotta make supper, you know.