Letters to the Editor

The real gold medal story

Once upon a time in a kingdom not far, far way, there lived a man named Willard Romney. Willard possessed hundreds of millions of gold medals while most of the peons in the kingdom had but a few lowly bronze medals. He “earned” some of them when his daddy gave them to him and because – well, no other reason.

He took the starter golds and “earned” more by taking over businesses, sucking all the gold medals out of them and leaving them for dead. (Like in Georgetown). This must have been accidental because now he has no recollection of the “earnings.”

This huge pile of gold medals then went into a blind trust for which Willard has neither knowledge nor responsibility. But, thanks to Willard’s predecessor, King George, it earns even more golds tax free.

These accomplishments were so incredible that Willard’s friends dubbed him “Mitt.” How could someone amass so many gold medals without really working to earn any of them? Everything his grubby “mitts” touched turned to gold.

With this amazing resume, Mitt decided to run for king. He had everything he ever wanted or needed except there were still some bronze medals out there that the peons were desperately clutching onto. And thus was born Mitt’s campaign slogan: Go for the bronze – Take it all.

Sadly, most of the peons didn’t get it.

The writer lives in Longs.