Happy vacation to the 14 million visitors who will invade my backyard these next few months. Yes, we have 40 miles of beautiful beaches, a wonderful modern boardwalk, piers from which you can look down into the ocean and see sharks (I have) and shrimp and other critters up close and live.
There are many delectable restaurants to enjoy and every kind of water sport and land sport including over 100 golf courses to place illegal bets while playing a friendly game with your pals. There is a Ferris wheel, a roller-coaster and a unique Ocean Boulevard, featuring all of the oddities seaside venues hold.
But for the love of God, please use your pooper scoopers after those poor dogs you’ll be schlepping across the country and for your kids whom you believe have the right to tell you, when, how and what they can do with their lives. Yes, I’m all down for that but for now diaper the brats. This is not your backyard
For those who still have not received the world wide memo circulating since forever, any littering has an extreme present and future effect on this awesome world, so throw those cig butts in the trash. Better yet, just eat the rest of it, you’ve come this far happily killing yourself slowly and besides have some respect (you’re always whining about not getting any) for the rest of us for your gross habit, grossing us out. Thank you for your cooperation!
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P.S. When you see lightning striking the ocean, don’t ask me “Do you think I should let the kids keep playing in it?” because I will say yes and walk away.
The writer lives in Myrtle Beach.