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Myrtle Beach-area’s kookiest crimes

Whatever Gets Your Rocks Off

There are those who are into the kinky stuff, but there’s a big difference between being a little adventurous in the bedroom and putting on a show in public that leads to police intervening.

Myrtle Beach man Yevgeniy Aleksandrov Dyachkin was arrested May 15 and charged with indecent exposure and resisting arrest after police say he was standing buck naked in the middle of the street and flogging the dolphin in front of some onlookers.

Police were sent to the 1300 block of Beaver Road (yep, Beaver Road) after getting a complaint of public nudity, according to the incident report. There, they reportedly found the suspect standing in the middle of the road wearing nothing but his birthday suit.

Officers asked Dyachkin to put up his hands and place them behind his back. He allegedly had other plans, and simply started masturbating in front of police and onlookers.

Police determined the suspect was high on something, and after he ignored several verbal commands and started walking away, a Taser was used to subdue the man.

Seriously, dude, you should have gotten a room.

The Gambler

No, we’re not talking about Kenny Rogers.

Aynor man Timothy Gamble took one of those poker-style risks and it looks like it got him in some hot water.

A federal grand jury in Charleston indicted Gamble on one count of theft of union funds on May 16, according to a press release.

If convicted, Gamble could receive 10 years in jail and up to a $250,000 fine. Of course, all folks are presumed innocent until proven guilty.

Still, since we’re a fan of puns, it seems like this was one gamble he shouldn’t have taken.

Bless Me, Father, For I Have Sinned

One has to wonder if this guy had any concern about possibly being struck by lightning.

Seventeen-year-old Colin Stanley Thompson Jr., was arrested on May 19 by investigators with the Georgetown County Sheriff’s Office after allegedly breaking into the Cornerstone Baptist Church on March 18, according to a press release.

The suspect reportedly broke the glass doors, ransacked several rooms and set off several fire extinguishers. A laptop and some food were stolen, the release stated.

Thompson was charged with one count of burglary of a church. Investigators anticipate arresting two more juveniles in connection with the incident, the release stated.

Now’s the part where we sit back and wonder if they missed Sunday School on the day they taught the Ten Commandments.

Batter Up?

Damn. Just … damn.

Horry County Police arrested Gearlene Delarosa and Santana Goff following an assault that turned deadly in the Nichols area on May 17, according to a press release.

An argument began between the male victim and Goff, which eventually became a fight. Then, Delarosa allegedly grabbed an aluminum baseball bat and hit the victim several times in the head, the release stated.

The victim was taken to a local hospital with life-threatening injuries. The release stated he was pronounced dead in the early-morning hours of May 19.

There was no indication as to just what led to the argument in the first place.

Investigators are now looking to upgrade Delarosa’s attempted murder charge to voluntary manslaughter.

There is no witty banter to go along with this one. This was just damn brutal.

Copping A Feel

Baseball and football players will sometimes smack one another on the ass after a good play. We doubt that either of these gentlemen had just hit a grand slam or scored a touchdown to illicit this kind of response.

Myrtle Beach police arrested Phillip Archambault on May 14 and charged him with third-degree assault and battery after allegedly getting frisky with some folks out on the beach near the 1000 block of South Ocean Boulevard.

Two men told police that the suspect allegedly grabbed them in the derriere region for no apparent reason, according to the incident report. A woman reportedly corroborated their accounts by saying she’d seen the man get all touchy-feely.

It’s unclear whether Archambault was checking for wallets when copping feels.

We prefer those that grab our asses to be our significant others or someone that we’re attracted to. Total strangers doing it is just a little weird. At least buy us a drink first...