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March Madness coverage maddening

I hate paying the electric bill.

I also hate filling up my 25-gallon tank in my F-150.

But every month (or bi-monthly) I seem to pay the piper. It's because there's no other options. I mean, I would love to go caveman but my fiancé would probably reconsider.

This is the WBTW Sports Anchor's column, right?

No, this article did not get hijacked, so bear with me.

I'm going out on a limb and comparing me getting murdered at the pump (figuratively speaking) and pillaged by Santee Cooper to what happens when media entities get too big.

There's no other option.

I took in the NCAA selection show on WBTW, and maybe it's because I have followed college basketball's storylines throughout the season, but CBS's selection show was downright tough to watch.

Finger nails on a chalkboard tough.

When I think of March Madness, I think of a few things: upsets, high energy games and that sweet replay of the song, "One Shining Moment." Yes, outside of the opening week, that beat is the best part of the tournament.

Don't ask me why CBS tried to fix something that wasn't broken. But, Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith brought the selection show to a snail's pace. They know the X's and O's of hoops and certainly have ties to the game, but what do they know about how the selection committee makes its decisions? Can these analysts name any players or coaches outside top 25 ranked schools?

And the way broadcast works, the host is forced to toss softball questions up to the so-called "analysts." I will admit that Smith isn't all that bad. But Barkley wins the award for making us all dumber for having listened to him. Plus, he takes 30 seconds to say something any normal human could spit out in seven seconds.

Dramatic effect -- yes, there's such a thing as too much.

So that leaves ESPN, our beloved electric company.

After switching over to the world-wide-leader in sports coverage on Sunday night, I came across a whine-fest worse than a teenage girl who can't get a date to the prom.

I'm not exaggerating - 20-minutes of denigrating the tournament committee's decisions.

"I'm not even sure if the committee knows if the ball is round," ESPN's Jay Bilas said.

Bilas rehashed his same argument with other analysts continuing to say the exact same thing. The crying became too much for me, so I had to pause live TV, and Youtube Wham!'s "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go."

Seriously, it was tournament committee envy to the 37th degree. I get it, you want on the committee. I understand the committee picked teams on different criteria than in the past. But what you failed to remember, it is a different committee than in 1992. People have different opinions and weigh different criteria their own way.

And it cracks me up when they interview the committee chairmen. What's done is done people. Your team didn't get one of 37 at-large bids because they didn't get enough votes. Case closed.

It's not like Colorado, Virginia Tech, Harvard or Alabama have realistic shots at making the Final Four.

So, after I got the boom-boom into my heart -- I was forced back to Santee Cooper, err...ESPN. I mean, I need to fill out my bracket and I don't know the darnedest about George Mason or Utah State.

Unfortunately for me and sports fans across the U.S., what ESPN says is treated as sports gospel. With the thousands of live games, the endless hours of sports talk in all mediums, the sports news and information industry has no reasonable alternative.

It's sad.

But yes, I would like a job.