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WHAT A MORON

It seems that most the really decent girls on these dating Web sites leave because you dumbass inbreed stupid moron guys who couldn't get laid in a whore house with a winning Powerball ticket have to say the most offensive things. You want to talk, then talk to me in the city gym in a boxing match. You just need the sh-t beat out of you. I'm worst GD nightmare punks!

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

One of the hardest jobs around is being a server in a really busy seafood buffet here at the beach where you walk about 10 miles per night to meet the needs of several people. To those of you employers who state this is not a real job when you see it on a resume...then you, my friend, don't know your ass from a hole in the sand. I bet you could never do it, for you would break down in tears after an hour, like a baby who lost his bottle.

Only the strong survive and prevail here in Myrtle Beach.

LIFE'S A BEACH

Why does every one in Myrtle Beach seem so mad and depressed. Go into a bar or restaurant and show just one person smiling. This ain't Haiti or the Middle East, people

ICE TO MEET YOU

Was scalping hockey tickets when a guy gave me center ice on the glass tickets. He would not take any money at all for them.

THIN LIZZY

LIZZY, LIZZY, in a tizzy. Big ol' fines are making her dizzy. Put her wallet in a spin. Now she wants US to CHIP IN!

DISTRACTION ATTRACTION

Homeless people of the beach, rejoice! The police will be too busy watching over that crown jewel of the town -- THE NEW BOARDWALK -- to be bothering with you. Avoid that area and all will be well.

BLOCK PARTY

To the 25-year-old school teacher who blocked me on the dating Web site because I said "hi": You will never make in the real world. You will end up with a crack head loser just like the other 75 percent of the women in the world and cry yourself to sleep every night in a bed of misery, agony and despair. I guess you can say that you made your own bed.

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