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THE ROAD TO HEAVEN?

I got some news. I would rather date an exotic dancer who is honest than any of you hypocrite church girls who go around lying and sleeping with every married guy you see. That exotic dancer will get to go through those pearly gates a million times quicker than you ever will because she's being herself. Put that in your collection plate and chew on it!

AN ARGUMENT FOR CORPORAL PUNISHMENT

Why can't parents shut their crying kids up in public? When I was a kid I got my ass beat in public and it worked. What are these parents - "wussies?" Maybe they should have had their asses beat when they were kids. Every restaurant needs a no kids section.

OPENING AN MRS. ACCOUNT

Why is that very few of the girls here in Myrtle Beach ever have any money? Ever hear of a piggy bank and planning ahead?

SMOKING REVENUE IDEA

I simply can't understand how the city fathers could have missed a great opportunity like a city tax on cigarettes, say a half a buck a pack. Illegal, you say? Didn't stop 'em from passing helmet laws, did it ?

NAME GAME, BLAME GAME

I have been deejaying for about two years here on the Grand Strand, but when the owners put me in the Surge calender they do not put the name I go by. The owners tell me they submit my name every week and that they are told "we will fix that next week" only to find next week the same thing happens. I have a small following, I have three Web sites and I send out texts every week telling everyone where I will be and when. But how am I supposed to get new people when people don't even know that I am there?

I get more exposure from my car magnets!

KINDNESS STILL HAPPENS

I ran out of gas (like an idiot) today and managed to get my car to drift into the little plaza Coastal Commons on Hwy 544. I had my mom and two kids with me and it was a scorcher. There was no one to help me and I started to get upset, thinking I was gonna have to try to walk to the nearest gas station on a busy highway. My 5-year-old had to go to the bathroom (of course) so I walked her to a little restaurant in the plaza. While in there, I asked the owner if he had a gas can. He said he'd go out to his truck and check. Once he came back in, he volunteered to drive to the gas station and get me some gas. He even insisted I have a Coke. When he got back with gas, I filled up, ran to the gas station, filled my tank and his can and took it back to him. He and his wife were trying to give me change on my $5 that I gave him for my gas. These people were so friendly and caring. I just think it's noteworthy when someone lends a hand to someone they don't even know and want nothing in return. God bless them for their kindness and I plan on eating at their establishment, as the Japanese food I saw being served looked delicious. Good people.

NO LOVE ON THE NET

That guy was right last week: The dating (Web) sites in Myrtle Beach really do suck! I've seen better looking paranormal pics on "Ghost Hunters."

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