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ONE AT A TIME?

BIG NEWS! Pres. Obama is going to overhaul the American Education System. Well, I wonder if he is going to do this before he fixes the national deficit, healthcare, unemployment, and the Iraq/Pakistan/Afghanistan situation, or after?

DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GOT

I hate how in a relationship you only realize the other person actually cares until after you ruin/end things. Move away, hook up with someone else, blabber how bad that person is in bed. Then you realize they really cared about you but you ruined it.

CHARIOTS OF FIRE

Way to go, city fathers! First chase out the bikers. Then alienate the runners. Maybe you can cancel summer next, and then send the snowbirds packing. Once you chase out the horse enthusiasts in the fall, there won't be anyone left but politicians, seniors, homeless, and unemployed. BUT IT SURE WILL BE QUIET AROUND HERE!

WATCH OUT, IT'S CONTAGIOUS

A normal trip to Blockbuster could just about turn you into a homosexual anymore. While visiting the Surfside Blockbuster I saw 4 new releases that were about "gay love" or whatever you people call it. This is a disgrace! I can't believe this is happening less than a mile from my home. Between the homosexuals, African-Americans, and Hispanics - the white population is dwindling! Someone has to stop this fast!

GOLDEN YEARS

This goes out to our local senior citizens: I love seeing you all at the gym. It's fabulous! I appreciate your motivation and will power. Hopefully this will set an example for our lazy generation to get up and get moving. Thanks for staying healthy and leading by example.

SMOKE SIGNALS

Is it just me or is this generation becoming more and more stupid as the days go on? Signs, leases and/or roommates that explain to you that "hey this is a smoke free house" or "no smoking please" are usually written or voiced in plain English. Why is it that the imbeciles of America do not understand it? If you're a smoker who cares, don't stink up the air I breath or my area of living, you douche bag.

FLOAT US SOME JOBS

Not that this is as big of a deal as the rest of the bull that Obama takes part in - but apparently there is a float that has been made in his honor - a float! Seriously a float for Obama, for being what? A dumbass? The money that was spent on this Obama float should have been used for medical research or, I dunno, helping Americans find JOBS!

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