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10 reasons you're glad you're not Mark Sanford

CBS late-night comic David Letterman’s list from Wednesday night of Gov. Mark Sanford’s Top 10 excuses for his recent behavior

No. 10 — Did I say hiking? I meant cheating.

No. 9 — Had to do something after devastating news about Jon and Kate.

No. 8 — I learned everything I know from (former N.Y.) Gov. Spitzer (who resigned after a sex scandal).

No. 7 — Let’s talk about more important issues like the Nestle Toll House cookie recall.

No. 6 — I learned everything I know from (former N.J.) Gov. McGreevey (who resigned after a sex scandal).

No. 5 — It’s Ahmadinejad’s fault.

No. 4 — If you met my wife, you’d be fleeing the country, too. Am I right, fellas?

No. 3 — Putting together my audition tape for “The Amazing Race.”

No. 2 — If you run a state and decide to leave the country for a week, since when do you have to tell someone?

No. 1 — It wasn’t me, it was my hilarious alter ego, Bruno.

S.C. economy really, really bad

ABC late-night funny man Jimmy Kimmel joined in the Sanford roasting, too.

How bad is the S.C. economy?

So bad that mistresses are being outsourced.

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