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Lovers can fight fairly

Star Jones,

actress, producer

Q: It seems like my boyfriend and I are always at each other's throats. How can I get my point across and get him to listen to me? What's the secret to fair fighting?

A. Something that my husband and I learned in premarital counseling was what buttons not to push in each other. We promised at that moment never to push them, no matter how mad we got. If you remember, when you two are fighting, to consciously avoid pushing any buttons, it will always be a fair fight and you'll get your point across. It is easy to stay calm in a fight when you love somebody -- your desire is to not cause them pain. If you remember that you love them, you will never be that angry. Focus on your love, not your anger.

Coming March 7: Model Tyson Beckford on what to do when your boyfriend is prettier than you are.