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Boyfriend's ears are lazy


Dear Advice Diva:

I'm a hopeless romantic, especially on anniversaries and Valentine's Day. I just wished my boyfriend was the same way or at least could appreciate the way I am. I have been dropping hints and trying to get him in the mood for Valentine's Day for months! What do I want? For him to, for once in his life, plan a romantic night. Like, he could buy me flowers and make dinner reservations. I would even be fine with a cheesy card, but I always have to remind him. Am I with the right guy?

Hopeless Romantic

Dear Hopeless Romantic:

In our experience, hinting to a man about anything is about as effective as telling your cat not to pee on a shag rug. It's just not going to happen. Men appreciate directness. Not as magical or romantic, no doubt, but the idea is that once they know what you expect you won't have to scheme and plot every year.

Instead of dropping vague hints that won't even register in his subconscious, tell him that you would love it if this (Valentine's Day, anniversary, whatever) he would plan a terribly romantic night for the two of you. Periodically say how excited you are, or that you bought a new dress for the occasion, just to keep him on his toes. And then see what he delivers.

With proper prompting, he can be your Mr. Right, provided he cares enough. It's all in the desire.


We are (finally) retiring our ''Unfortunate Fashion'' poll and starting a far more exciting one in which you get to share your ''worst pick-up lines.'' And send us some fun anecdotes, too, if you're so inclined. To kick it off, we'll give you one of ours: One evening as the Advice Diva was having sushi with a friend at a sidewalk cafe on Lincoln Road, a well-meaning but very clueless dude circled our table then stopped, exclaiming, ''You look just like Julie Hagerty from Airplane!'' After we pretended to neither see nor hear him, he gave it another shot, searching our face for a favorable reaction: ''I bet you hear that often; you look exactly like her, the hair, the face, even her nose!'' It took us exactly three seconds to start calling the authorities.

The Advice Diva welcomes your questions. Write her at