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Significant other is grumpy, always down

Dear Advice Diva: I am outgoing and make friends easily. But my fiancé is quiet, moody and doesn't like people all that much. For years I have been on him to be nicer, but nothing seems to change. Maybe I never noticed it before because my personality compensated for his. But it's bugging me now. How can I help him overcome his shyness? Everyone who meets him for the first time asks me what is wrong with him, and it's embarrassing. Even my family thinks he doesn't like them.


Dear K.P.: The Brooding Man can be very seductive to the chirpy gal, his dark personality a welcome counterpoint to her Pollyanna perkiness, and his aversion to all people except her a constant ego-inflator. The whole opposites-attract thing. The sexy factor. The Let Me Help Him Come Out of His Shell thing. But you know what? He's not likely to change. (OK, maybe if he gets struck by lightning, God forbid, or has an epiphany while listening to his Henry Rollins CDs late at night.) And the more you try to lead him to the light, the more you risk getting sucked into the vortex of his tortured soul. Which is, in essence, what he is. Tortured. Depressed. Angry. Whatever. Do the fiancé a favor and suggest he see a professional who can access whether he needs meds. Unless, of course, you want to marry a man who is such a grump that even your family feels alienated.


Women who wear their thongs hanging out above their jeans should be given a citation. It's bad enough when the thongs are lacy and decorated with rhinestones -- i.e. meant to be seen -- but when they are all worn-out or if the tag is showing, it's really unfortunate. Haven't they ever heard of low-rise underpants?

Diane, Fort Lauderdale

The Advice Diva welcomes your questions and fashion pet peeves. Write her at