Dear Advice Diva:
I need a quick remedy! I am turning 21 soon and my legs look hideous. It appears to me that I am acquiring the early onset of cellulite and it's not a figment of my imagination. What can I do? Please help me eliminate this toxic waste from my newly developed body.
Dear Miss Dimples:
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God knows we're the last person who should be giving you advice on how to get rid of cellulite, but based on what the experts say, here are some C-word do's and don't's.
1. Do drink more water than you probably want to. Maybe 12 glasses. And café con leche and juices don't count. Neither do martinis.
2. Don't drink carbonated beverages, including Perrier. Anything with bubbles gives you dimples.
3. Do increase your circulation by dry-brushing your body before bathing. Three brisk, light strokes -- always toward the heart -- on each part of your body, including the soles of your feet but excluding your breasts. Use a natural-bristle back brush, not your spiky Mason-Pearson hairbrush.
4. Don't wear control-top pantyhose. In addition to being really unglamorous, they restrict circulation and encourage more cellulite. OK, maybe just for that pair of Marc Jacobs skinny jeans.
5. Do cardio, 30-45 minutes, three times per week. Take magazines and a towel to cover the clock on the treadmill so that you're not looking at it every 15 seconds.
6. Don't eat crap. (Demi Moore once said that this was how she approached dieting, and we love the advice.) This means no fast food, no processed stuff from the supermarket, no family-sized bags of M&Ms when it's only you, the cats and TiVo late at night.
7. Do release toxins with a hot bath or sauna. But make sure to scrub with a soapy loofah immediately afterwards or else your body will reabsorb the toxins. (We read this in one of Gary Null's health books. He also says to put Epsom salts in the hot water.)
8. Don't sit all day at work. Move around, take stretching breaks, visit the office gossip. Avoid fanny-spread at all costs.
9. Do reward yourself with shoes or a designer handbag instead of food. If you have to cheat, do it one day a week.
10. Don't forget to get a spray tan. Not only does it help disguise dimples but the caffeine in most tanning products is a cellulite-buster.
The Advice Diva welcomes your questions and fashion pet peeves -- particularly the more amusing ones. Write her at advicediva@MiamiHerald.com.