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They'd like to cash in this time around

Dear Advice Diva:

My wife and I married young and were not able to marry traditionally due to financial issues. We have decided to have our union blessed with another ceremony at a church for our 10-year anniversary.

Since we are spending a great amount of money on our wedding and have been settled in our home for more than two years and have no wedding registry needs, we would really prefer to receive monetary gifts.

How can we inform our guests without sounding unthankful that we would prefer money instead of other gifts? What do you recommend?

Raymond in Miami

Dear Raymond:

Asking for money for your rededication ceremony is a bit like asking guests to remove their shoes when entering your home -- a lot of people do it, but it still doesn't make it right.

And personally, we don't think it's even proper to expect gifts for a rededication ceremony. It's about sharing your love and commitment with friends and family, not about collecting the gifts/cash you didn't have a chance to get the first time around, or raising enough money to pay for the spectacle.

If you must, register someplace horribly practical, such as Target, and select things you will need anyhow (next season's sheets and towels, a new iPod, and so forth). You may be able to return the items with the gift receipts for cash if you're feeling particularly desperate. Better, we say, to spend within your means and celebrate on a smaller scale.

But this is not the answer you wanted, right? Your only other recourse is to enlist the help of a close friend to spread the word of your true feelings, although you do run the risk of being perceived as less than gracious.


I despise the rubber clog-like ''shower'' shoes that men are wearing these days, especially European men. They wear them out to dinner with jeans and a jacket, trying to dress them up but they still look like cheap shoes you'd wear to the beach. And the neon colors they come in are very unfortunate. I am sure they are comfortable, but I think men should try to impress with their footwear the same way women do, and I can tell you that beautiful shoes are sure as heck not comfortable.

R. Ellis in Miami

The Advice Diva welcomes your questions and fashion pet peeves -- particularly the more amusing ones. Write her at