Latest News

Trolling for a guy with old-school manners

Dear Advice Diva:

Dating these days is just not the same as it used to be. With text messaging, MySpace, Facebook and all of those other networking sites, it seems that people don't take it seriously anymore.

I am young but still into old-fashioned dating. If a man wants to date me, I expect him to make an effort. I expect him to call me, ask me to dinner, pick the place, choose a beautiful bottle of wine, pay the bill, and -- gasp! -- even call again. Instead, I get a text message, I have to pick the place and sometimes I even have to pay half of the bill. And then the follow-up call comes in the form of a smiley-face message on MySpace.

Is romance in my generation dead? Should I just expect this style of dating from now on? Old-Fashioned in N.Y.

Dear Old-Fashioned:

If you want a man with old-school manners, forget the trendy It Boys, and, for that matter, any guy whose looks rival yours (they have learned long ago that they don't have to woo that hard) and look for a nice, conservative guy who has good manners and dresses well. (Casual clothes can translate into casual everything. The Advice Diva once was picked up for a blind date, light years ago, by a young man wearing a short-sleeved sport shirt with a pattern so loud it could be spotted from a helicopter. Needless to say, the date did not go well.) Suggested places to look for your love match: Graduate school libraries, wine dinners at local restaurants, Brooks Brothers.


Flounce-y Victorian-style, pirate-y blouses. A colleague of mine wears this absolutely horrid cream/beige ''vintage'' blouse that looks like she stole it from her great-grandmother, ugh!

Samantha, Miami

The Advice Diva welcomes your questions and fashion pet peeves -- particularly the more amusing ones. Write her at