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Looking for love on the job

Billy Bean, former Major League baseball player and author of Going the Other Way

Q: I've got a major crush on a guy I work with but am not sure if I should ask him out. No. 1, we work at a very conservative company that frowns upon co-workers dating, especially those of the same sex (which we are). But, I don't want to miss out on someone who could be ``The One.''

BB: First, you must decide what is most important to you. Is it your career or is it sharing your life with someone? People have been confronted with this dilemma for many years. My own mother had to make the same choice when she was a police officer in Tustin, Calif., in the 1970s. There was a rule forbidding fellow officers from being in a relationship. Mom chose ''her man'' instead of being a cop, and they have been married now for 33 years. I'm not saying this will happen to you; however, unless you take a chance, you'll never know. Something tells me that you are not as conservative as the company you work for -- so maybe it's the company that's not the right fit. Ultimately, it's your call. Life is so wonderful when you share it with someone you love. If there is chemistry between you two, then I think it's worth the risk. Be smart, respect your workplace, but then on your own time, explore the possibilities.

Coming Nov. 1: Nora Ephron on a drastic birthday makeover.