Swerving down the street or driving on the sidewalk are common problems for your average drunken driver.
Having a few too many can lead to confusion about the exact route home.
But a Lumberton, N.C. man got way, way lost, after he left a bar in North Myrtle Beach on Oct. 20 and drove into the ocean.
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Joseph Allen Hepple told police that he “wanted to go fishing,” which is why he drove his truck to the beach.
He said the ocean then sucked his vehicle into the surf, according to reports.
It’s unclear how Hepple was going to catch fish by driving his truck into the ocean.
At least he has a good story to tell his buddies the next time he hits the bar.
Police said Hepple was escorted out of the ocean and blew a .19 on the breathalyzer.
He was charged with driving on the beach and driving under the influence.
A good way to tell if you have driven too far, and should have handed over the keys to your truck, is when the waves start white capping over your steering wheel.
Next time, just stay off the road if you're planning to fish and drive.
Gone are the days when parents could throw an ugly superhero mask on their kid's face and shove them out the door on Halloween night.
The Conway Police Department is reminding parents, and kids, they should be extremely careful on Halloween night and not get hurt while out searching for candy.
Really, this is a good idea.
Considering that children were once dressed in very flammable costumes on Halloween night, maybe some modern safety tips are in order.
Children are reminded by the Conway Police that they should not dart in and out of traffic.
They should also pay attention to their surroundings and wear reflective clothing.
Drivers should not speed, text or use golf carts in Conway to ferry their kids around on Halloween night.
Golf carts? Reflective clothing?
Whoever heard of walking for miles in a sagging Superwoman costume, carrying a non-reflective plastic pumpkin that was probably loaded with harmful additives and dies?
Well, apparently, those were the old days.
To help them on their way, Halloween-goers are invited to get reflective wrist bands and Halloween bags with safety tips from the Conway Police Department.
The items will be passed out from 5 to 9 p.m. Halloween night on Laurel Street.
Myrtle Beach Police also did their part to promote Halloween safety by giving out information at the Target store on Seaboard Street Saturday afternoon.
To make their point even more clear, the kiddos also heard from the SWAT team, Beach Patrol, Traffic and Waterfront Patrol.
If the thought of toxic candy on Halloween didn’t scare them enough, they also heard about the dangers of the Internet, school bullying and identity theft.
The Myrtle Beach Fire Department assisted in informing the kids, and parents, that the world is a very dangerous place.
Storm water management officials also attended the event.
If it floods, your identity is stolen, and something catches on fire on Halloween night, please, stay home.
The candy corn really isn’t worth it.
Funky Fund Raisers
S.C. Secretary of State Mark Hammond opened a can of you-know-what on an organization that was reportedly raising money for charitable causes.
Hammond put a fine of $1 million on Strategic Fundraising, Inc. for violating its settlement agreement with his office, according to information from his office.
"Violations resulting in fines against Strategic Fundraising, Inc. included failure to disclose that the caller was a professional or paid solicitor at the initial time of the solicitation, failure to disclose the name of the professional fundraising organization, failure to disclose the location of the charitable organization for which the caller was soliciting, and misrepresentation of the percentage of donations used for charitable programs," he said.
The fund-raising business had already been popped for not identifying its organization or even telling the people where their money was going.
Hammond thanked the public for being observant and reporting the continued illegal calls.
"These mandatory disclosures are in place to protect South Carolina donors, so they know where their hard-earned money is going when they make a charitable contribution," he said.
Company officials should probably know they can't call around the state and ask for money to pay their $1 million fine.