DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my amazing husband for two years. He has worked his butt off to put me through school, and I am appreciative and thankful.
He has recently been offered a promotion, which means we will have to move from the South to the Midwest. Though I’m not a fan of the idea, I agreed it would be best for us. I grew up in the North, and took the chance to move down south at 18 because I was miserable there. I hate the possibility that I'll be miserable again, and I’m afraid I may end up resenting my husband.
If he passes up this opportunity, he may not get another. How can I curb my resentment for having to move to another state I’m pretty sure I won’t be happy in? – FLORIDA GIRL, FOR NOW
DEAR FLORIDA GIRL: One way would be to recognize that you are no longer the miserable 18-year-old girl you were when you moved down south. You have matured, you have a successful marriage and you won’t be returning alone. Once you relocate, involve yourself in the community so you can make new friends. And last (but not least), because people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be, decide to make the best of this opportunity and ALLOW yourself to be happy.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: I lost my best friend to AIDS in ‘95, my father to cancer in ‘06 and my husband/lifetime partner to a heart attack in ‘07. My greatest support, John, moved away the following year. A father, friend and partner – too many losses. John filled the holes in my heart, but he’s also gone now, from leukemia.
I mourn my losses, but cherish the love I have been given. Please remind your readers to appreciate whom and what they have. Don’t wait for a “special” day. Call the people you love today and tell them how much they mean to you. I’m calling my mother now. – MIKE IN NEW ORLEANS
DEAR MIKE: I’m sorry for the losses of your father, your best friend, your partner and John. I’m passing your message along because I, too, believe the time to hand roses to those we care about is when they are still able to smell them.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: A few weeks ago, I finished knitting a baby blanket for a good friend. Shortly afterward, she miscarried. I hadn’t yet given her the blanket, and now I’m not sure what to do with it.
It seems heartless to send it to her now, but after putting so much time and love into it, throwing it away or re-gifting it seems like a terrible option. How can I put this item to good use and cause as little pain as possible? – ANXIOUS KNITTER IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR ANXIOUS: It would not be “re-gifting” to give the blanket to someone, since you never gave it in the first place. As I see it, you have a couple of options. You could hold onto it in case your friend becomes pregnant again. Or how about donating it to a worthy cause, such as a domestic violence shelter or Project Linus (projectlinus.org), which provides blankets to children in need? I’m sure if you do, it would be appreciated.
** ** **
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.