Dear Abby

Dear Abby: My half-brother, "Jace," and I had a complicated childhood. My father had an explosive temper and a disdain for children in general. He was abusive, and our mentally ill mother was absent during his rages.

My parents are finally divorced now. Now, he's no longer abusive and is even fun to be around. However, he still maintains a palpable distance from Jace.

Jace has two beautiful children and one more on the way. Dad has seen the oldest only once. It saddens me, and I end up overcompensating by spoiling Jace's kids with gifts.

Is there any way to open Dad's eyes? If not, how can I fill the gap?

Saddened Sister in California

Dear Sister:

You cannot force open the eyes of someone whose heart is closed, so quit trying. You already do more than your share to "fill the gap" as a loving aunt, but Jace's children will never miss what they have never known.

Fortunately, your brother seems to be emotionally resilient. However, if he cannot let go of his feelings of abandonment, he should consult a licensed psychotherapist because it may take professional help to put his past to rest.

Dear Abby: My wife, "Mona," and I decided to separate a few months ago. She filed for divorce, and during the two months cooling-off period we spent a lot of time talking to each other. After some consideration, we reconciled.

I have learned that Mona sold her wedding ring to pay for some living expenses. We discussed purchasing another one, but apparently it's not a top priority on her to-do list. I still wear mine, but feel as though I'm the only one who's committed to the relationship. Any thoughts?

Having Doubts in Dallas

Dear Having Doubts: A wedding ring does not make a marriage; love, commitment and concern for the feelings of the other party do. That Mona got rid of the ring so quickly tells me she was also through with the marriage.

You and Mona are not out of the woods yet. Hie thee to a marriage counselor.