God, and the governor, certainly have been kept busy in recent weeks.
Some requests for very personal service have come from Horry County.
First it was asking for Jesus to pay the dinner bill.
Now, local pastor Darren Squires is apparently asking Gov. Nikki Haley to say it’s legal for him to refuse church services to the lesbian and gay community.
Squires, who leads Socastee Free Will Baptist Church, apparently doesn’t see his role as pastor as extending to everyone. Only some people.
Although he doesn’t stop them from coming, they aren’t exactly asked to stay, either.
Squires said in a recent letter to the governor that he “doesn’t want to get sued” and has asked Haley to protect his religious freedoms.
Although Haley hasn’t really responded, other pastors say Squires should minister up and realize that everyone should be welcome in church.
Squires apparently doesn’t agree with this and doesn’t want to be forced to lead some members of his flock.
At press time, Haley had not responded to his unusual request for religious freedom.
Myrtle Beach police were called after two people said they were robbed at knife-point while sitting at a Kings Highway, closed-down restaurant site. Which is clearly always a great idea.
Officers were called about 5:30 a.m. Friday to the site of a former Sonic restaurant at 200 N. Kings Highway where a 30-year-old woman and a 32-year-old man reported the incident.
While sitting at the former Sonic, the victims said they were approached by a man with a flashlight who claimed to be a police officer and wanted to see the male victim’s identification, authorities said.
The victims said a woman then came around from the side of the building and demanded the victims give her everything they had at knife-point, authorities said.
The female victim said she had $10 and an iPad in her hand, and that the woman took the money from her hand and ran away…and…left the…iPad…apparently…
The victims also said the female suspect threw the knife when she left the scene, because, you know, fingerprints.
Police said they searched the area for the knife, but didn’t find it, because of course they didn’t.
Authorities took the victims to the Myrtle Beach Police Department where detectives were to interview them; however, the victims left before the interview could happen after saying they needed to go to the methadone clinic and would be back later, police said. Which is apparently a valid and complete acceptable excuse to leave a police station at 5:30 in the morning before being interviewed by police.
Josh Bell, digital reporter
A woman was arrested in connection with shoplifting after police said she hid plumbing equipment down her pants at a Home Depot store, and then left without paying.
Nope, that’s not a pun. Plumbing equipment. In the pants. Welcome to Myrtle Beach.
The woman was charged with shoplifting, according to the police report.
In her defense, she did search for a Home Depot employee for three hours before deciding to smuggle plungers.
A loss-prevention employee reported the incident, authorities said, who had detained the woman in the loss-prevention office when they arrived.
Josh Bell, digital reporter
Jesus, pay the tab
In the past, Jesus has been asked to do some pretty dumb things.
This includes “taking the wheel,” drop-kicking a person (through the goal posts of life) and even forgiving Johnny Cash for a bad Saturday night.
But a Myrtle Beach woman might have been asking a little much when she said Jesus was going to pay for her seafood dinner.
The semi-religious dining experience happened at Bennett’s Calabash Seafood Restaurant in Myrtle Beach on July 12.
April Lee Yates, 51, reportedly entered the restaurant with no money, stayed four hours, then asked God to intervene, police said.
Even for Myrtle Beach, that’s really weird.
God does answer prayer, but not usually when it involves paying for a 100-item buffet.
Yates arrived at the restaurant around 5 p.m., according to the restaurant owners.
While there, she caused problems with other diners, then refused to pay for her meal.
When asked how she expected to pay, Yates maintained that Jesus would take care of it.
Police didn’t buy that explanation.
God didn’t appear to help her out of the checkout line, but Myrtle Beach police did make an arrest.
At press time, Yates had been charged with defrauding the restaurant.
Grandma ran over a moped
A Greelyville woman was arrested July 14 after she hit a relative on his moped, then ran an errand to fix a flat tire.
Margaret Deprima, 83, wasn’t being swayed from her long “to do” list, according to police.
She was driving her vehicle in nearby Williamsburg County and ran over a moped being driven by her nephew, Billy Jim Goins.
Deprima then continued on her way.
She told a garage owner to fix her tire, and oh yeah ... she had also committed a hit and run on the way in.
Her nephew was near a nearby bridge, she said.
Other people rushed to help Goins, based on Deprima’s information.
Goins wasn’t seriously hurt, and told his rescuers that this wasn’t the first time he’d been struck by his aunt.
That should be a big item of concern for Deprima’s family.
Deprima went to jail, accused of hit and run.
In the future, Goins would probably do better to drive a car or not travel by moped near his aunt’s house.
Boulevard blow out
We get it.
It’s hot out, and it’s very crowded on the local roads and sidewalks.
But this incident of road (and sidewalk) rage resulted in at least one person shot early Sunday.
The conflict between a driver and a pedestrian happened after the two began bickering on Ocean Boulevard.
The passenger in a passing car on the boulevard exchanged words with a man on the sidewalk, police said.
The sidewalk guy then pulled out a gun and shot the other dude.
How’s that for conflict resolution?
At press time, no arrests had been made. Police are still looking for a very angry individual, traveling on foot wearing a black shirt and shorts.
The man was last seen heading north on Ocean Boulevard, police said.
Anyone with information about the sidewalk rage incident is asked to contact the Myrtle Beach Police Department at 918-1382.
Blue Light Special is a roundup of the Myrtle Beach area’s weird and wild crime, written with a saracastic and/or humorous twist. It is meant as a parody. Don’t take it too seriously; we don’t.