Bob Bestler | OK, so maybe I am a little nutty

June 13, 2014 

Spoiler alert: You might find this column a little squirrely or, if you prefer, pretty darn nutty.

That’s OK. Over the past 25 years, I’ve written plenty of squirrely and nutty columns; I know because readers have been quick to tell me so.

But here goes.

My wife and I were imagining what we would like to come back as if, you know, Shirley MacLaine is right.

I think she wanted to be a house cat like our Bo or some such sweet, pampered thing.

Me, I didn’t hesitate. I would love to come back as a squirrel.

Why a squirrel? Well, I like the way they scamper, the way they jump so effortlessly from tree to tree, enjoying the world from the highest peaks.

I like that they love golf courses and that they know most golfers are friends who leave snacks in the cart, just for them.

I love the way they play hide and seek whenever a dog or person comes by, whipping around to the other side of the tree and snickering. They do snicker, don’t they?

It’s interesting that I like those little guys because I actually have a long and troubling relationship with squirrels. In my youth, I hunted them with a .22 rifle. Never shot one, of course. They are mighty fast. And small.

My sister’s husband had a pet squirrel once. He was named Abner and he lived in their house. Abner terrified me because he would leap on me without warning and hang on like I was a tree.

I don’t think Abner lasted long in their home, for that very reason. He picked no favorites.

A few weeks ago, while on a camping trip to Hunting Island State Park, said wife purchased an early Father’s Day gift.

It was T-shirt with a big old squirrel on it and she insisted it was made for me.

It came with some very wise advise from a squirrel, which I am happy to share:

1. Look both ways when you cross the road.

2. Plan ahead.

3. Stay active.

4. Eat plenty of fiber.

5. Spend time in the woods.

6. Go out on a limb.

7. It’s OK to be a little nutty.

See what I mean? It’s me to a T.

Contact BOB BESTLER at

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