Issac J. Bailey | A special Valentine’s Day

A man usually doesn’t joke about his wife’s weight during his efforts to make her smile on Valentine’s Day.

But that’s just what John Mack did while sitting in the lobby of The Sun News.

He was dropping off a handwritten note titled “A Valentine Message to Tamara A. Mack,” his wife of 18 years.

He didn’t want to take any chances that it wouldn’t be published in the list of messages from other men to their significant others.

“This Valentine’s Day has got to be the happiest one of my life, because she’s still with me,” John said about his wife.

You see, eight years ago Tamara was diagnosed with breast cancer. She beat it, and they kept living and loving on each other.

Two and a half years ago, it came back. That time, doctors found cancerous cells on her lungs and ribs.

She kept fighting it and they kept living and loving on each other through the treatments.

Then things changed again in December 2010.

Tamara began having severe headaches. They made an appointment with doctors at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston.

Cancerous cells were found in her brain that time. They were so serious that not 5 minutes after they were discovered doctors urged immediate radiation treatment, that day.

She is living through the final stages of brain cancer.

Without treatment, Tamara would likely live another 3 months, the couple was told. If she responded well to treatment, she had maybe another year.

“This [past] December, that year is up,” John said while quietly beating back the tears as he apologized for them.

During a recent doctor’s appointment, it was discovered Tamara had even gained back 2 of the many pounds the disease had robbed from her body.

“I told her I can’t be ‘round no fat woman,” John said while letting loose a quick laugh amid other emotions finding their way down his cheeks.

John takes many long walks on the beach, something he used to do with Tamara, something disease has stolen from them.

But he didn’t want her to be robbed of this Valentine’s Day.

It’s a special day not because of cards and candy and flowers and bouquets of specially designed fruit.

It’s special simply because they are together.

It’s special because John doesn’t know when a seizure or some other medical event, or a nap from which his wife won’t wake will steal away his most important reason for living.

“I go every day not knowing if this is gonna be the day, not knowing what’s gonna happen,” John said.

He doesn’t care much about the legends or the history of the holiday.

He didn’t mention any awareness of the multiple St. Valentines upon which the holiday is supposedly named or whether or not one of them was put to death after defying Emperor Claudius II’s decree that outlawed marriage for young men – to make them better soldiers – by performing marriages for young lovers in secret any way.

He didn’t talk about Chaucer’s “Parlement of Foules,” which included the first recorded association of Valentine’s Day with romantic love in 1382.

For this was Saint Valentine’s Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate.

Instead, he talked about his wife’s eyes.

He talked about remembering how well she wore that ankle-length blue dress.

He talked about them holding hands on the swing and smiling.

He talked about how brave she is and how much she believes in Jesus.

He talked about how strong she is, that even though she can’t make all those slow walks on the beach anymore, she has remained active in their church, providing inspiration not just for him, but for everyone who comes into her circle.

He talked about how kind she is, how easy-going she is.

He talked about how a friend hooked them up many years ago during a period when he was not in the mood or on the lookout for another long-term relationship.

He talked about how fireworks didn’t go off the first time they spoke on the phone or laid eyes on each other, because they didn’t have to.

“I just got swept off my feet,” John said. “She was my Valentine. That’s why this Valentine’s is so special.”

And that’s why he so wanted her to see this message:

John Mack to Tamara A. Mack: “Through all the changes in life and love have brought us, I’m a better man because of you. I’m lifted each day by your faith, enthusiasm, positive attitude. I love our life together even through all of the ups and downs, thank God we’re closer than ever. You make all the difference in my life and I couldn’t have married a more wonderful woman than you. I love you so much.”