Wednesday, Jan. 18, 2012

She wants to be more than BFFs

 

Q: I am getting a divorce and finding that I'm in love with my best friend. It seems that the two are related, but they are not. I was already at the end of my marital rope when I discovered that my BFF was the man of my dreams. He has been my best friend since 1986-87 and is someone whom I talk to about everything. He has never interfered in my marriage, and I never interrupted his relationships. We were the epitome of a platonic friendship. So what do I do now? Some of my friends say I should wait and get myself together first. My close friends say to get my man! If I could turn off my feelings for BFF, then I would do so to get through this divorce. He has been part of my life for the past quarter-century, and I am only 39. But I don't want to make a rebound mistake. I don't want to ruin my longest friendship ever. I don't want to get stuck in another bad romance.

Steve: Before worrying about the cart, consider the horse. How does he feel about you? He may not want to blow up a great friendship by adding the explosives of sex and romance. And even if he's willing, that doesn't guarantee a happy ending. You want a guarantee, go to Sears.

Mia: Slow your roll, girlfriend. You're going through a divorce, and your emotions are probably all over the place. Give yourself time to get out of one relationship before jumping into another. Once things settle down, you may find that your friend is just that — a friend and nothing more.

Q: I saw your response to a woman whose ex wanted her to pay him back for her boob job. She should think of it as if he had bought her a $10,000 car:

Out of the showroom: $5,000 immediate depreciation.

Customized wardrobe for new, 3-D features: Subtract $1,500.

First three months heavy use: Subtract $2,500.

First year wear and tear: Subtract another $1,500.

Bottom line: He owes her.

Steve (not his real name) is 50-something and has been married to his second wife for 20 years. Mia (not her real name) is a 20-something single immersed in the dating scene.