Thursday, Dec. 22, 2011

Beau was hot for her; now he’s just chillin’

 

Q: I’ve been dating a guy for about four months. I feel really strongly for him and possibly love him. He is very laid-back. He doesn’t show much affection unless I initiate it. I prefer to be physically intimate every time we see each other. Recently, things have changed. He started saying that he is tired or not in the mood, when before all I had to do was kiss him and touch his waist to get him in the mood. I feel like he is not as attracted to me, or there is some sort of problem. I told him I don’t want to feel like I have to coerce my boyfriend to sleep with me — he should be making the moves. He said that sometimes he just wants to relax and snuggle. We didn’t really resolve anything, though he did say maybe he needs to be more in touch with my feelings. Should I be nervous?

Steve: No, you should be looking for a new boyfriend. If you feel a lack of affection after four months, imagine what you’d feel after a year.

Mia: Steve’s right. Don’t waste time trying to change him. Move on. There’s a guy out there who’ll be hot for you. The one you have now clearly isn’t.

Q: I got drunk at a party and got involved in a threesome. I was more of an observer than anything. But now I can’t get the image of my boyfriend having sex with my friend out of my head. He says nothing has changed and that he still loves me. But I’m still feeling weird.

Mia: I don’t feel sorry for you. You acted like a fool. You got plastered at some party, took your clothes off, had three-way sex and now you’re having regrets. There’s nothing you can do about it now. Next time, think first.

Steve: I’ve been drunk plenty of times and nothing like that ever happened to me. Damn.

Steve (not his real name) is 50-something and has been married to his second wife for 20 years. Mia (not her real name) is a 20-something single immersed in the dating scene.