Ramadan means togetherness

CHARLOTTE, N.C. -- It's 4:29 a.m., and Munira von Briesen, 40, is busy in her kitchen, the only one lit up at this hour on her East Charlotte street. Wearing a white head scarf, she prepares breakfast for her five children, who cling to their last 10 minutes of sleep.

In the next room, husband Inayat softly recites prayers in Arabic as he stands, bends at the waist, and kneels with his forehead and hands on a floor rug.

Most mornings during the year, the kids - ages 8 to 16 - get to sleep later and make do with a bowl of cold cereal before heading off to public school. But today, they will feast on eggs, pancakes, bananas, strawberry yogurt, cookies, a few Doritos - and lots of water.

Like 1.5 billion other Muslims around the world, including an estimated 12,000 in Charlotte, the von Briesens rise early during this holy month of Ramadan for suhoor. This hearty fare will help sustain them during the fasting they are obliged to do between dawn and sunset.

The family's early morning ritual also includes the first of the day's five prayers, which will be said at 5:30 a.m.

At a time when many Americans are suspicious of Islam, with some opposing the building of a mosque near the site of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks in New York, the von Briesens agreed to let the Charlotte Observer see how they start their day during this sacred time on the Islamic calendar.

"The media make Islam look dark," says Munira. "I want people to see ... that our life and children are full of light."

As wake-the-kids time approaches, Inayat - a former Army Reservist who teaches Web programming at Central Piedmont Community College - helps Munira in the kitchen.

"Children who have not yet reached puberty are not required to fast during Ramadan. But the von Briesens want all theirs to fast.

"Our feeling is to do it your whole life," says Inayat, adding, with a laugh, "like flossing."

But he admits to using presents to first get his children interested in the practice. Their oldest, daughter Noura, started fasting when she was 9. In exchange, she got an American Girl doll - "the mother of all bribes," her father says.

The youngest, son YaSeen, got a toy Smurf each day he fasted.

Muslims say that fasting, which they believe is required by God during Ramadan for all those who are able, has many benefits. It redirects a person's heart away from worldly things, they say, and heightens awareness of God. It also purifies and fosters self-discipline. And it gives those denying themselves a sense of what it must be like for those in need all the time.

"It turns sympathy to empathy," says Inayat, 41.

As parents, they are trying to give their children support, and an understanding of how to sustain day-long fasts and, eventually, grow deeper in their relationship with Allah - the Arabic word for God.

"We're giving them a great foundation to start with," Munira says. "And, hopefully, they'll end up helping other people."

The first one down to breakfast is daughter Iman, 10, followed by YaSeen, 8, who rubs his eyes as he takes a seat.

Inayat, 6-feet-6, returns to the kitchen, carrying daughter Maryam, 12, over his shoulder.

Bringing up the rear are the oldest - first, Mohammed, 14, called "Moby," who's wearing a "NY Jets" T-shirt.

Then, wearing a head scarf, and looking sleepy, Noura, 16, arrives and takes a seat.

There's lightness and even some laughter in the air - a morning meal with the whole family present usually only happens during Ramadan.

The conversation shifts to concerns about the two oldest, both students at Rocky River High School in Mint Hill and both scheduled to engage in athletic activity that day. Without any water breaks.

"I didn't finish the two-mile yesterday," says Moby, who runs cross country.

"Slacker," his dad teases.

"Dude," Moby shoots back, laughing, "I was way behind."

Mother Munira jumps in: "Seriously, if you get shaky, or feel like you're going to pass out, you're allowed to break the fast. Understand?"

By now, Noura says, fasting during Ramadan has become a habit. And her parents say she, more than anybody in the family, enjoys the social side of Ramadan: the iftars, or dinners that break the fast, at Muslim homes and masjids, or mosques, all over town each night.